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50 million pound challenge: I’m no size 6. But I don’t care.


I have never been smaller than a size 12 in my adult years. And I’ve never really had a problem with this either. My thighs have always rubbed together and I still felt attractive. I could never be a runway model but that’s never bothered me. The photo you see is of a slightly larger B. I was loved by friends and family but most importantly—I loved myself.

It wasn’t until I visited the doctor my senior year of college and he told me he was concerned about my high blood pressure, that I began to worry. A few more visits confirmed that I indeed had dangerously high blood pressure for someone my age. My systolic reading (top number) wavered between 140 and 145. This was not a good look for a 22 year old…or anyone for that matter.

And so to the World of Weight Loss I went. I went from a size 16 to a size 12 solely on monitoring what I ate and became BFFs with the gym. My blood pressure has consistently stayed normal and physically, I feel great. I am far from skinny but I am in shape and healthy!

….even though I’m not a size 6. And even though I’ll probably never wear a bikini. But I’m okay with that. I don’t look at numbers. I don’t own a scale and don’t don’t cringe at clothes that have double digits. I never really feel fat (unless I’ve over-indulged) and I can honestly say that I love my body; flaws, flub and all. According to the Body Mass Index calculator (stoopid calculator doesn’t even consider muscle mass), I am obese. But when I look in the mirror, I don’t see that. And I certainly don’t feel that way when I’m running my miles in the morning. I’m not even desirous of being a size 10 or 8…and let’s be honest, a 6 for me is a joke.

As we continue to press forward for healthier bodies and lifestyles, know that your beauty outshines what size you are and how much you weigh. It is a work in progress to get to a healthy weight–but in the meantime, don’t let these numbers make you feel bad. You are beautiful no matter what.

Slightly larger (but STILL happy) me.

Do yourself a favor and toss your scale out of the window.

But be sure to open the window first. :)

I love, y’all! Hang in there! Feel free to drop me any suggestions you may have. See you at next week’s check-in!

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  • [a}

    Awesome stuff

    This is the main quote I wanna remember from this article: "It is a work in progress to get to a healthy weight–but in the meantime, don't let these numbers make you feel bad."

    I was at my PERFECT size 6 weight last year, but we moved and now I have nothing to do for about a year till college starts..so I'm up to a 12 already. It made me feel down
    but
    you're right.
    BIG WHOOP!

    I'm going 70% raw (fruits/veggies) now. Health reasons, with a dash of vanity tossed in.

    But while it's gonna be a long journey, I'm not gonna let the scales bother me.

    LUV YA!

  • Leah

    You really are an amazing woman. You're authentic and that's what keeps me coming back. Your article today was very inspirational. I'm way bigger than I've ever been before and it's hard to stay positive and feel beautiful. I just nee to remember that numbers don't define me.

  • Colette

    I think having a healthy body image is always pretty tough -even for those size 6 women. You always look at yourself & see the flaws first, often ones other people would never notice.

    Like you, I think size 6 for me is a joke. Even in high school I was around a size 12 (at 5'8" & 145 lbs, which I dared think at the time was fat). At this point it's about being healthy & feeling good & coming to terms with whatever that does end up looking like.

  • Cynthia @ TheStyleAficionado.com

    Size does not matter. Being happy and healthy is what's important. I love this post, very inspiring

  • CandyPaint

    I'm a size 6-8, 4 kids later and the baby bulge worries me, but not enough to effect my self esteem. I will lose it one day, until then I wear clothes to minimize my belly (nope not the body magic) and accentuate other areas. Keep the positive vibes coming ladies.

    P.E.A.C.E
    positive energy always creatives elevation

  • Jessie (Vegan-minded)

    Hey girl! I just found your blog and I love it so far! I have wanted to throw my scale out the window on many occasions myself, but then I realized that weight is just a number that should not determine the way we feel about ourselves. Thanks for such an uplifting post. :)

  • Her Royal Poshness

    BMI is just a doctor's way of classifying things. It was created by a human being. I am seriously underweight according to my BMI and I absolutely love myself. I threw out my scale and I don't care any more. We can't all be the same, the world wouldn't be right. Go on and love yourself girl, we love you anyway…

  • Amanda (Two Boos Who Eat)

    Fantastic post. :)

  • Umm Amirah

    Heeeey B!! LOL @ 'my thighs have always rubbed together', well your not the only one. I wave that FLAG too!!

    Anywhooo…
    I'm currently a 16, that's after 2 kids and loosing about 40bls in one year.

    Healthy is in, reardless of how u do it. I changed the way I ate (no more PB&J's at night). Excersized more (Belly dancing is my mantra) and bought some HEELS!!

    I still have rolls but..it's all good. My kids love me, my husband doesn't want a skinny wife and I'm healthy.

    Big ups to the BIG girls!!! You rock!!

  • beautylogicblog

    big or small, you're beautiful mama.

  • Nickelicious

    Girl are you serious????? You look good and I never would have guessed you were above an 8. You wear it well diva.

  • Nicci@NiftyEats

    Get rid of that ''negative ninny scale'', it's no bueno and as long as your exercising and eating right…then your just ''fine''!

  • wittydreamer

    SO REFRESHING! I think all women need a reminder every now and then that our true beauty and shall i say FIERCENESS, lies within! You are an inspiration, keep at it!

  • Execumama

    So many of these classifications aren't made with us in mind anyway! Just look at how they size the clothes we shop for? Seldom can I (with all this booty!) buy a top and a bottom of the same size, so there's goes the skirt with matching top concept if you're whole body isn't one flat line! I'm so happy that you understand SELF-LOVE as a concept that is nurtured from the inside out and NOT vice-versa! It can be a long road to reach, but I'm happy to know you're there.

    Child-birth is another element that changes our bodies and leaves us trying to figure out whose body we're looking at in the mirror, but again, learning to love yourself, at any size, and focusing on health, is an integral part of honoring the life Creator has given us.

    Great post, lady!!

  • Execumama

    So many of these classifications aren't made with us in mind anyway! Just look at how they size the clothes we shop for? Seldom can I (with all this booty!) buy a top and a bottom of the same size, so there's goes the skirt with matching top concept if you're whole body isn't one flat line! I'm so happy that you understand SELF-LOVE as a concept that is nurtured from the inside out and NOT vice-versa! It can be a long road to reach, but I'm happy to know you're there.

    Child-birth is another element that changes our bodies and leaves us trying to figure out whose body we're looking at in the mirror, but again, learning to love yourself, at any size, and focusing on health, is an integral part of honoring the life Creator has given us.

    Great post, lady!!

  • Mel

    I read this and thought 'mmm, my numbers obsessed self can't get with this" then i went on with my day and now I'm really thinking about it and whilst i completely agree that you have to be happy with who you are, i feel like the numbers should still count. I know that i'm weight obsessed (well i'm in love with the idea that a smaller scale reading means I AM smaller) and even at my current weight and with everyone telling me that i look great I don't seem to see it and that's where the issue is. I am in no way unhappy with myself but I believe one can always be better. I love that you can go through life without a scale!( i weigh myself ummmm 20 times a day!!LOL) So kudos to you for not giving a damn what the numbers say! Also just looking at your pictures, I had no idea you were a size 12!! you look MUCCHHH smaller than that!! Oh and as for the BMI, this is my theory (no offense to anyone) in no way indicates how black people's body's should be coz naturally we are heavier set than white people! YOU ARE NOT OBESE!!!!

  • B

    I love y'all!!!!

  • Sophia

    When I squeeze out my little bundle of joy, I'll be on the God Mama Clumps workout regime! 5 am is a no go for me. How about 5 pm gym workouts

  • Christie

    I love this post. My thing is, just be as healthy as you can. A scale can't measure that.

  • MissBrandi

    I love your confidence and wish I some of it. But I'm like you, to the world I may be obese but when I look in the mirror I don't see a obese woman. Also I've never been lower than a 12 either but since high school I now have to wear 20-22 which I'm not to fond of. It's difficult though when your mother looks at you she always says that she fears that I might be diabetic.

  • Anonymous

    sorry brit! i have fallen out of touch with clumpsofmascara, but i am getting back on more. and im glad to read about what your doing with your weight. i think thats a awesome way to approach the whole situation.
    :)akua

  • Cerise

    Just found your blog today, and I gotta agree wif what you said. Being skinny isn't and shouldn't be everything, and there are waaay more important things like being kind and funnt than being thin.

  • B

    Cerise—> I soooo agree. :)

  • Beauty is the Movement

    This is so beautiful! Check out our blog promoting healthy, natural beauty at beautyisthemovement.blogspot.com

  • Anonymous

    Wonderful! You are great!

  • Anonymous

    You are absolutely amazing. To be so young, yet so in tune with your inner self and spirit is admirable. This post has made my day!

  • B

    Awww thank you, Anon. I am still on that journey. :)

  • MAP

    I love you for this post! :)