Yo! What’s up, homie? Can I be honest? I wanted to write this letter to you to express how I’m feelin’ about you. Simply put….I miss you. I miss having you in my life. I’m not sure when and why we stopped being friends but I’m really starting to take it personally. Why must you abuse me the way you do? Why do our meetings always end with me being doubled over in pain? It’s just not fair. Especially when you seem to be so prevalent in a lot of my favorite dishes. And especially since you come in so many variations. It’s just not right. Granted I still love a good piece of cheese pizza. But it comes with a price. And it ain’t pretty.
So I’m asking you…can we call a truce? Please? Think it over. In the meantime, I’ll be staring aimlessly at your siblings at the Whole Foods in Phillips Crossing.
Love you always,