TMI Tuesday: The Story of How I Married A Man I Met Online.

| January 24, 2012 | 51 Comments

Okay class. Raise your hand if you’ve ever met a guy or gal online. Technically everyone should be raising their hands. I mean who hasn’t chit-chatted with someone in emails and then met up with them at a local event, conference or meeting? It happens allllll the time.

Sooooo what about dating online? Would you do it? Have you done it? Known someone who has? I do! I not only have gal pals who have met their husbands online but I met mine online.

Yep.

Esposo and I met on Match.com. I used to be embarrassed by it but now I have no problem with people knowing that I met the love of my life online. Does my meeting a man online mean that I’m too pathetic, lame or ugly to meet someone in real life? Hell no. Unfortunately, I think that’s the stigma that comes with dating online. People say…

-”Well, what if he turns out to be a serial killer?”
-”OMG, it’s toooo expensive to date online. Starbucks, I can justify…but dating online? No!”
-”I don’t want to tell my grandkids I met their grandfather online. That’s not romantic.”
-”What will my family say?”
-”What if everything he told me were lies?”

I was totally in agreement with the idea telling that the story of how we met wouldn’t be romantic. But that’s a lie. Everything about our story is laced with romanticism. I couldn’t see that because I was too busy caring about what other people thought. I’ve seen the light now and when people ask how we met, I tell them. With pride.

The internet holds a great chunk of my personal and professional life. I’ve gotten job opportunities, met amazing people and have developed my passions online. I even pay my bills online. With all that WE do online, is it really crazy to consider dating online? I don’t think so. I have one friend in particular who I met in a social networking site when I was 14 years old. We are STILL friends and in some ways closer than the people I went to school with (XOXO Stef!).

After a friend signed over her Match.com account to me, I innocently explored the site without any expectations. With only 3 weeks before the subscription ended, I had NO luck running across anyone interesting. While I didn’t have intentions of meeting Mr. Right, I didn’t even spot Mr. Halfway Decent.

The way Esposo tells the story, he says that I sent him a flirt. I believe it’s the other way around. Either way, after weeks of chit-chatting via email, we met.

I was all like, “Okay. If he is THIS cool electronically, he’s got to be even more awesome in person.”

Fail. He was nice but nothing clicked.

Nothing clicked on the second date either.

But like they say, “Three’s a charm.” I’ll never know what happened, but our third date was magical. We talked and laughed for hours. We fell in love that third date and almost a year and half later, we got married.

One of our wedding cakes.

I can’t remember where I read it but I saw a statistic that said couples that meet online stay together longer and eventually get married sooner than those that don’t meet online. Dude. I believe it. Considering there are so many websites that for people with all kinds of interests (religion, race, hobbies, location, etc), finding someone you may actually connect with can be so much easier. I realize that online dating isn’t for everyone. To even consider it, you have to be comfortable with yourself and you have to be extremely open-minded.

You should also be an undercover detective. Esposo didn’t know it then, but by our second date, I had run his license tag, found out his current address, date of birth and if he had ever been arrested. I didn’t spend all of those years watching Lifetime moves for nothing.

I could list a crap load of reasons why online dating can be scary. But so can dating the cutie you meet at the grocery store. Or at a party. Dating has its risks no matter how you do it. I just know when it comes to online dating, I can list list at least FOUR close friends who have met and married their online sweethearts.

Yep. He’s as silly as I am.

It’s hard not to believe that Esposo and I have lived in the same city for years and never crossed paths. Orlando is huge. We had different social circles. I don’t think I would have ever just run into someone as incredible as him by luck or chance. Maybe. Maybe not. Still. I think it’s pretty darn cool that a website matched us up and e-introduced us.

I’m sure every Match.com subscription doesn’t end in marriage. But neither does every Guy Meets Girl at a coffee shop scenario. All I know is, my experience with online dating led me to the love of my life.

Now that it’s out there. Who wants to reach out to Match.com to see if they’ll put us on a commercial?

Ha! I’m kidding. Unless they’re payin’. :cool:

Seriously though – what are your thoughts on online dating?

P.S.
If you want to read lovey-dovey stuffs, check out me and Esposo’s Eloping Story.

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Category: Featured

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Comments (51)

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  1. You two are too cute, and I am jealous of his hat LOL! I love Chip & Dale.

    I know a friend who I met online who met her fiancee online. I have met both of them in person even. :) Online connections can and do turn into real relationships.

    Congratulations!
    Cosmetics Aficionado recently blogged about MAC Free 2 Day ShippingMy Profile

  2. Nina says:

    I also met my husband (of nearly six years) on Match. Ain’t nothing wrong with that! I would have never met him IRL, since we lived in cities 90 miles apart, and he is incredible. To this day, we can’t remember who messaged whom, but I always say the universe felt like giving me a break – I met him at the end of a really terrible year.

    Congratulations on your wonderful partner, and rock on with telling everyone y’all met online!

  3. Zelda says:

    that is super adorable! I have a few friends who are using online dating services – it really is difficult to meet new people sometimes! They’ve had nothing buy great results. If they seem like a creeper… ya just move on!

    On the e-friends note, I met a group of girls in 2003 through an AOL message board. Once we started getting rid of AOL we made a message board and are still great friends! We chat on FB, on our message board, heck even through phones. One of them is getting married soon and she invited us all! I have met amazing people on the internet.
    Zelda recently blogged about EOTD: Chronic SweaterMy Profile

    • Brittany says:

      I can totally relate. I have a ton of friends I met in e-space from when I was a teen. We are still in touch. I love it!

  4. Kelly says:

    I love how brilliantly honest and down to earth you are. Times are a’changing (have changed) and dating habits reflect that. I’m SO ridiculously happy for you both (even though I’ve never conversed with your Esposo!) but still so happy for you both! Hurray to November weddings in 2011 :)

    Much love B & E(sposo)

    <3 KBM


  5. Awww.. this post and your tweet had me all mushy!! So glad you both found each other. I’ve only met him once, and I know he is a keeper ;)

    Love you <3
    Kiran @ KiranTarun.com recently blogged about PonderingMy Profile

  6. Gabrielle says:

    How awesome…I’m so glad you decided to post this! I too met my husband online (Facebook) years after we attended the same high school and even graduated in the same class but never crossed paths! People are so quick to judge when they hear online dating but I think it’s a wonderful way to open yourself up to new possibilities. You just never know what may happen ;-)
    Gabrielle recently blogged about Manicure Mondays – Rockstar MauveMy Profile


  7. I too met online my husband & eloped! Now I’m married to a military man & couldn’t be happier.
    Stephanie Louise recently blogged about Mani of the Day: Sally Hansen in Lilac ChantillyMy Profile

  8. Heather says:

    I met my husband online also! I said all the thing you said and more about meeting and dating someone online. However, he was TOTALLY different from any guy that I had ever met and I wouldn’t change how we met!


  9. That is fantastic!! At the end of the day, we need to let go of the stigma of online dating, like you said, damn near everything we do is online, so why not love as well? Blessings to you and Esposo!!
    haitianphoenix recently blogged about EnvyMy Profile


  10. After a friend signed over her account to me…. LOL Bhwahahahaha. I introduced yall technically!
    Samantha Sophia recently blogged about What Are You Doing New Years Eve?My Profile


  11. Uh he sent you a flirt check your gmail history. We play it cool even online!
    Samantha Sophia recently blogged about What Are You Doing New Years Eve?My Profile

  12. Trice says:

    I love your story. My husband and I met online on collegeclub. He lived in Orlando and I was in Tampa. He moved to Tampa, and eventually we got married at the courthouse. We have been together for eight years married for almost three. You just never know where you will find love. I’m so happy for you.
    Trice recently blogged about When Cute Shoes Happen to Wide FeetMy Profile

    • Brittany says:

      Shut uuuuup! CollegeClub.com? I was on HighSchoolClub.com back in the day. My username was CherryDiva. Hahahaaaa! Memories. Yay for e-dating!

  13. Latorsha says:

    I’m all set with my husband. :)
    But I know many who have tried online dating with success and even two who married. I think in this day and age you can meet good people online.
    Latorsha recently blogged about Attacked at the ZOO!My Profile


  14. Aw, what a sweet story. Hubby and I met over the phone for a business transaction lol so I’m definitely not judging you for meeting your man online. I love hearing people tell the story of how they met. In general, as long as you use common sense then you should be fine. May your union continue to be blessed.

    • Brittany says:

      Awwww, Starr!!! You and I chit chatted online waaaay before we met up for the first time at that beauty party. Woot!

  15. Mimi says:

    I wish there wasn’t such a stigma attached to online dating. I met the most wonderful guy online and we’ve been together for almost a year.

    Sure, my parents were “How do you know he is who he says he is! He could have other women on the side!” (which was not exactly helpful) and the distance thing blows.

    But I couldn’t be happier.

    Though there was this five minute period when we first met in person, where we were both really relieved that the other person was exactly who they said they were (and you know, not a serial killer).
    Mimi recently blogged about Zoya True Collection Swatches + ThoughtsMy Profile

  16. MELODY says:

    I met m husband on Yahoo Personals almost 5 years ago.I was too cheap to pay for the real service and after my free trial was up all I could do was send somebody a flirt or a simple message and hope that they were paying for their subscription. I remember getting a message from this one guy in particular and I guess we both were cheap cause he couldn’t send me a real message back. Anywho, he found me on facebook and it took me a minute b/c facebook wasn’t big then and nobody was ever on it. When I finally looked at the message I thought to myself “this guy looks familiar”. I clicked on the profile and it was him!! The first night we spoke on the phone I was floored at how deep his voice was, you know kinda like homeboy from Boyz II Men. He was actually coming to my city for an internship so we met up and although he didn’t look exactly like his picture (which I tease him about constantly now) he was a nice southern gentleman that had me hooked! Before he left to go back to his Masters Program I told him that he was the one for me. We married July 23 2012! Thanks Yahoo Personals!! When people ask how we meet we usually say through friends, that friend being Yahoo!

  17. Ishah says:

    Awww you guys are so sweet :) I think the internet allows you to meet more people who share your interests and are similar to you.

    My husband (C) and I met on GaiaOnline.com, a discussion forum website for anime nerds lol. At that time I was in a relationship and didn’t believe in internet dating AT ALL, I thought it was for lame people who couldn’t get a date irl (yes I was so judgy) so C and I were just friends. We talked about and created/collaborated on music in the Rap/R&B forum for 2 years and I thought he was really cool, but it didn’t really go farther than that. Then I broke up with my boyfriend and while telling C about it on MSN, we discovered we had soooo much in common and even the same birthdate (he is 5 years older than me). Slowly, despite our anti-internet dating stance, through Skype and talking on the phone, we fell in love – only problem, he lived in California, I lived in Australia! We felt so strongly about each other that he came to Australia for a 3 week vacation, went home for 2 weeks and then came back to Australia to live.. A year later, we got married and now we have 2 beautiful children and a house in Southern Cali :)

    He is my soulmate and I couldn’t be happier! Although while waiting for him at the airport first time meeting IRL, my best friend did try to scare me by asking “What if he’s a midget?? What if he has really bad BO??” lol. Those are the type of things you worry about with online dating :p
    Ishah recently blogged about Calgon Ageless Milk Bath with Serum BeadsMy Profile

  18. BSQUARED86 says:

    I think your story is actually really adorable! People shun online dating but I think it’s pretty cool. You are presented with hundreds or thousands of eligible bachelors/bachelorettes and some how you manage to stumble upon your soul mate! Awesomesauce!

  19. Nana says:

    I met my husband online and I have been shouting it to to the rooftops. After I had series of awful dates,I figured if I was going to meet crazy people I should do it from the comfort of my own home in my slippers. I met my husband after about a year of online dating and the rest is history. I think more people (especially those of color) should try it. You never know who you will meet!

  20. Madeline says:

    If/when my current relationship ends, I would totally give online dating a try! I’ve met great friends online, why not a boyfriend? I’m painfully shy and it’s hard for me to meet people, so I feel like a dating site would be a great help to me.
    Madeline recently blogged about Wet n Wild DisturbiaMy Profile

  21. AFROSTORY says:

    Your story is sooooo on point. Most people don’t know that although my beau and I met several years ago in biology class, we were just friends. I never knew he liked me, and I wasn’t looking for a boyfriend. However, it was after we graduated and years of not really staying in touch that we reconnected on…yep. FACEBOOK! We sent private messages to each for months about politics, spirituality, culture, family etc. and then he asked me for my phone number. Of course, by this time I had already fell for him bad, but the rest is history.
    AFROSTORY recently blogged about Your Body Image Shapes His Beauty Ideal – Part 2My Profile

  22. Cyn says:

    Awesome story. Many many years of wedded bliss to you and your esposo. I love the stats on online couples lasting longer.

    I met my honey online and it’s been a magnificent ride and wedding bells are in the near future.
    Cyn recently blogged about Home Bittersweet HomeMy Profile

  23. OSHH says:

    What a sweet story Brit and ya’ll look good together. I see a good many of commentors met their spouses online also. As for me, well, we will see.

  24. glamazini says:

    Why is this even “TMI” … shoo TELL IT GIRL! :D

    I think dating nowadays is froth with peril, grocery store meet up or not … so I have no issue with meeting folks online. I dated a guy I met on a phone thingy years ago and we were embarassed to tell folks so we made up a mutual story. How lame now that I think back to it. God uses all mediums to put people together. Congrats again. 11/11 in the house! :D
    glamazini recently blogged about LovedMy Profile


  25. I met my Peanut online 10 years ago in May. We’re a Match.com couple. When we met that’s when online dating really got started but people thought it was crazy and so uncool but whatever. I’m not a follower but a leader and we’ve been together ever since and just had our first baby in November. Online dating works only if you’re open and want it to work.
    Lizzie R. Muriel recently blogged about Is Your Fav Makeup Discontinued?My Profile


  26. Awwww. Such a cute post. I know a lot of couples who met online and worked out. It’s just another way of meeting people.
    http://www.thegirlieblog.com
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  27. Super cute!!!
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  28. Cosmolude says:

    Aww, what a cute story :-) That’s a great pic of you two. I thought about joining a dating site but I’m so cheap, lol. Maybe I’ll try it in a few months. I talked about it with one of my friends and she always brings up the stigma and what others would think but I don’t think it hurts to try. It’s better than not meeting anyone at all.

  29. Channing says:

    Your timing with this post is amazing! My friends and I were just discussing whether or not this is a good place to make a man friend. I don’t see the harm after you check him out, like you said, you do everything else online, why not?
    Channing recently blogged about Try A Trend: A Pop of NeonMy Profile

  30. L. Michelle says:

    I too my the love of my life online on a dating site! When I tell you, I LOVE this man and I can FEEL the love he has for me!! I never would have thought I would be at this point and I can’t wait to see what our future holds! Congratulations on finding your true love!
    L. Michelle recently blogged about Sh*t Fashion Girls SayMy Profile

  31. AJ says:

    I didn’t even know you got married!! Probably because I got married on 11/2/11 and was all wrapped up in my little world. :) Congratulations!! It doesn’t matter how the story of you starts (I was introduced to my husband through a friend…by the end of our first date I had drank waaay too much and had an argument with a waitress about cake. That is unromantic!) it matters how the pages turn until the end. Your story is so awesome! Yay!! May your forever together be wonderful.

  32. Enjoli says:

    I am so glad you brought this up. I also met my husband online on a site called Tagged.com. A couple months shy of being together 1 year, we got married. I couldn’t have asked for anyone better. Sadly, I haven’t told my mom how we really met. She is way too old fashioned and she will not approve of it. Maybe I will just tell her and let her deal with it in her own way. She will eventually see he is not an ax murderer… I hope…

  33. Lavendar says:

    Frankly, I don’t know why there is still a stigma around the whole meeting online thing. Maybe people think because that used to be the case, that it should still be. Clearly, meeting online is a regular thing these days. Most people know someone who met their mate online. Your revelation didn’t shock me in the least bit, and it’s a beautiful and heartwarming story. Maybe it will give hope to people who are still searching for Mr. or Mrs. Right. You should give some pointers on how to meet someone online and protect yourself at the same time. The background checking was funny but necessary. I met my closest girlfriends online. They are the awesomest, most dynamic, beautiful-spirited jewels that life has to offer. Just like you, Mrs. Clumps! Blessings!

  34. Asia says:

    As long as it’s love, it’s beautiful! You guys can be one of the couples in the next commercials! People always look down on what they don’t know or understand; let em’ hate while you’re happy!

  35. Joanna says:

    I love happy endings. Congrats to you both :)


  36. I too, met my now husband online and we are married… 2years now. The site that connected us was Facebook. We chit chatted on FB while living in 2 different states. We are from the same hometown and went to the same HS but we never crossed paths. He ended up courting me and we had a 2 year exclusive relationship… I relocated about a week before the wedding to the city where he resided and we got married in our home town. Everything was done loooong distant… now we are working on making some kiddies. All smiles. Online dating can work for those who are mature and sincere and truthful about finding love and have goood motives.
    Always Radiant recently blogged about Rolling my eyes at SOPA & PIPAMy Profile

    • CAM says:

      “Online dating can work for those who are mature and sincere and truthful about finding love and have goood motives.”

      Truth! I always said that when I get to a certain age and am ready for marriage, I would consider online dating. It’s then that’ll be sincere about finding love. But now, I’m happily single! lol

      I’ve never shun online dating. I, just like a lot of others, only see it as an additional way of meeting someone. If anything, you actually know more about the person you met online before actually meeting him, than you would a random guy you met at bookstore–or whatever. There’s no harm in it and I would not be embarrassed about it at all!

  37. Shefali says:

    This is not TMI!!!! I met my husband on match.com, and 8 1/2 years (6 1/2 married) and 2 kids later, we are happy, in love, and best friends. We are living a wonderful life together, and would never have found each other any other way. Be proud girl!!!

  38. kkimberly2004 says:

    wow! I am so impressed and recently went on a dating site but didn’t pay for the subscription, but I think I will give it a try! Congratulations!!!

  39. Maven says:

    Congratulations! Happy for you! I have been considering online dating but just haven’t been able to get myself up for it. I said this might be the year. Lord knows I’m not getting any younger. LOL


  40. AHHHH I needed to see this!

    I met my fiancee on okcupid.com last April… we are set to get married in 2013. Like you and esposo, the emails were awesome but the 1st 2 dates were ehhh. Then the 3rd date was AWESOME.
    I liked okcupid because it’s free and there were a lot of young educated guys on there. Still had it’s creepy douches like any other site, but okcupid worked better for me.

    yay! Congrats!

  41. Crystal S says:

    I just found this! I met my husband in an AOL (Gothic) chatroom 13 years ago. We lived 3000 miles apart, me in OR he in NJ. I took a Greyhound bus to meet him (platonically, 4 realz) our Mom’s even spoke on the phone to make sure he wasn’t a psychopath. It was love at first sight, the day I left to go home I truly thought I would die. He sold everything he couldn’t fit in his car and moved to OR one month later. 13 years and two kids later, he is still my best friend, the love of my life and the son my parents never had. Some people scoff at online romances….let them. If it wasn’t for AOL and the internet, I wouldn’t have all the moments and people who define the value of my life on this Earth.

    You go girl!
    Crystal S recently blogged about Jump Into Spring with Wet ‘n’ Wild’s Flora CollectionMy Profile

  42. Krystal says:

    I’d like to say thanks for this article. I had been think about internet dating, but still kinda scared of it. What ppl would think,etc. Ive heard some great things,and not so great things. But after I read this i was like why not,what the hay…and surprise surprise…Im happy to report back that I actually met a great guy! ;0) after some not some great ones,as well. But that one great one is all that matter! ;0)

  43. Terrence says:

    We meet on the internet in Jan 2013 we communicated daily sometimes 4hrs in the first few weeks then I rang her and we speak every 3 days its now April and she is arriving from Lisbon in 7days Tho she will need to leave the country for 2 weeks to renew her visa for another 3 months. In Australia we have to verify our relationship for 12 months before we can apply to wed.So it will be Jan 26th I submit our application. Even if she has to leave 2times or 3 we will find a way. Namaste

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