TMI Tuesday: Are you where you want to be in life?

I’m at this really weird age in life. 27. There’s no “umph” in 27. It simply means I’m far from 21 and I’m almost 30.

Oh, and for the record. I’m not one of those gals in her “almost 30’s” that is freaking out about turning 30. I will never lie about my age and I will always be grateful for the opportunity to live to see another year. Funny thing is, sometimes I wake up expecting to feel this grown up, age of 27 and….I don’t.

The 20’s are such a confusing time. Let’s backtrack to see how much my life has changed in just 7 years.

-I got my first credit card at 21.
-I graduated from college at 22.
-I spoke at my first conference at 25.
-I purchased my first car at 25.
-I started my own business at 25.
-I got a job in the career of my choice at 26.
-I got married at 26.
-I moved addresses, cities and states over 8 times.

I’m sure I’m missing something but those were what I would consider to be the “game changers”. The funny thing about this age is that sometimes I don’t feel like I’ve done enough. I feel like I should be further ahead in my career. I want to make more money. I want to travel more. I really want kids but at the same time I’m enjoying not having them right now. I went back and forth with deciding if I wanted to go for a Master’s degree. My 20’s has me so ambivalent about everything.

I’m still struggling with being happy with where I am in life. I keep reminding myself that I am on the road to creating a financially secure and happy life for me and my family. And while I do have things I need to work on, at least I KNOW I need to work on them. And at least I make an effort.

Which, I believe, is all you can do in life.

Anyone other 20-somethings that can relate? Or any of those who are older that can provide some advice for us?

What about you? Are you where you want to be in life?

  • Ive written about this CONSTANTLY—ughhh and now that I met a man who is SOMETHING I feel even worse! and Yes, you should know I met a man off the net -_- The influence you have on me. Pray hes the one because where I want to be is ANY TIME with him…BLAHHHHHHHHHHH Until then I am a loser…you know how that goes.

    • Brittany

      An e-man? Oh snaaaaap! 8) And a loser you will never be. You know that. I don’t have loser friends. 8)

  • Angie

    Thanks for this post I can SO relate! The 20’s are about growth and learning. I am 23 and I still have ways to go. I graduated college at 21, 2 years ago in May and since have found myself still trying to figure out what to do. Going from temp job to job, and figuring out my career. Marriage and kids are the least of my worries, but as long as I get to making the salary I want I’m good. My sis sent me a great article that I had to bookmark on everything people in there 20’s should know: . It’s great! and advice from someone older.

    • Brittany

      Off I go to check out this article. Thanks for sharing!

  • I am on track to graduate with my PhD by the time I am 26 and I still don’t feel like I have “accomplished” enough in my life. I feel like we are supposed to go off and “find ourselves” by moving to Thailand or something like that, but really that isn’t how life works. I completely understand what you mean. I try to find a little adventure everyday and that has really made me feel like I am living.

    • Daintynymph

      I feel like I could have written this comment! I’m 26 and “All But Dissertation” in my grad school progress. Every now and then I think about my life, what I’ve done, and what I haven’t done. I’ve got things I want to do in the future, but as far as life so far, I’m very content with my experiences and current situation.

      I’ll figure out how I can finish my PhD without going crazy, and then I’ll worry about the future!

  • I am 22 and already suffering from these type of thoughts/feelings. I think the important thing to remember is 20-something is very young, we still “hopefully” another 65-75 years ahead of us!

  • I feel you Brittany! I’m 23 and I feel like I’m 33 though… Between moving from country to country, I’ve learnt soo much but my education has been pushed back a lot due to moving around. II work for a great company and for some people it’s a “dream job” but my dream job is becoming an Anesthesiologist.
    So the answer is no, I’m not where I want to be in life yet.

  • Good topic! I can relate. I’m 25, and feel like I’m stuck in an “in-between” spot in my life.

    I finished my undergraduate degree in good time and have managed to travel quite a bit, which I’m happy and thankful for. Travelling has been a big priority for me, so I feel good about that.

    At the same time, I began my Masters degree a couple years ago now, and it’s just dragging on and on! I’m done coursework and need to focus on finishing my damn thesis, but I keep stalling. Why? I don’t know! Maybe because then I’ll have to let go of being a student and figure out what a long-term career move looks like. That’s not something I’m looking forward to. Gah. 😛

  • Great post. I am 28 but I really feel like I’m 21. I just don’t feel “old”. I have 2 precious daughters and now that the oldest is 5, I can really start having deeper convos with her about things that she brings up-these kids ask so many wonderful questions! It’s really giving my life a special purpose:) Plus I am also growing as a small business!

  • Um no. And despite not finishing college, I have the flourishing business, the awesome husband and kiddo, and will soon have the house… but because I am responsible for another life, I feel like I should always be doing MORE.

    We live a very non-traditional life and have gone through and still are getting through the hardships of being independent adults and (young) parents, when absolutely nothing seemed to have gone as planned. I am constantly trying 1UP the things that are not in complete order – so (older) people don’t think we’re losers (because they think we’re older than what we are). And I need to stop doing that, but it’s going to take some working on.

    I was just talking to a childhood friend yesterday. She said that she is feeling the pressure to do something with her life but she doesn’t know what to do or how to be an adult. It’s kinda how I feel. We’ll manage.

    /end blog post in your comments

  • I can relate. In fact we are the same age. I’ll actually be 28 in several months. Thanks for being so candid… this post has truly helped me… thought I was the ONLY one. :0)

  • MaryB

    Are we EVER where we want to be in life? It’s a changing target. When I was 20, I had very different goals and values than when I was 30. At 41, those goals and values have shifted again. I still don’t feel “grown up”. I just feel like me, only older and (hopefully) a little wiser. As I live and grow and learn, my wants and my needs have adjusted. I’d still like to finish college and travel Europe, but I take more pleasure in my daily life and the daily goals and struggles that are much more attainable. There will always be something “more”, something I have yet to do. I think that’s the point of life.

    • OSHH

      ITA @ 37. I think the thing is learning to be content, not to be confused with complacent, in where you are and trusting a higher power, GOD, in directing your path and ordering your steps.
      All the while being present in the moments that make up the journey.

  • I am 33 and I think so far 30’s are awesome. I think it is something that makes me feel more grown up and more confident about myself. The 20’s are confusing, at least they were for me. I don’t know it all yet, but I am okay with that. In my 20’s I wasn’t.
    I,like you, met a lot of goals in my twenties…but now find myself wondering what is next? It seems that now the goals have changed as I have grown. So no. I am not where I want to be yet, but I know I will be. 😉
    One thing I did not do enough of in my twenties was take time to enjoy the moment. So I encourage you to take time to just enjoy the moments……they will be gone before you know it.

  • I love these TMI Tuesdays!~ I might have to start something like this on my blog. Thanks for the inspiration love. xoxo

  • Wow I feel the same. I just turned 25 and although I’ve been working in my dream career since age 19 I am still feeling like I need to/want to do so much more. I also began a business in 2010 and I am a single mother of a 5yr old male.

    Goodness…there is hardly a day that goes by where I don’t think of how much MORE productive I can be. Sometimes I have to press on my “mind brakes” and take a deep breath, regroup and realize I am where I am suppose to be right now.

    I do work hard and well though. I know its just a matter of time…

  • Great post! I also am in a weird place – I turned 22 back in December. I grated college in 4 years, but was 21 (since I was born so late in the calendar year), and already had a job lined up and started it 2 weeks after graduating – not many of my friends can say that. Many are still in their 5th year of college for their Undergrad.

    I have been with my current BF for 2.5 years, but he is 8 years older than me. We both want similar things – stability, a nice home, a family, etc. A lot of friends my age don’t want that, aren’t in a position to have that, or are single and can’t have that. So it’s a bit weird some times. I love my job, my co-workers, and since I am in Education there are always learning opportunities and places to move up to. I am in a weird part of my life too.

  • Oh sweetie, if there’s one thing I can ever do for you, let me advise you to NEVER feel pressured into doing something because you “should have done it by now”. Perhaps your older sister was A by the age of B, or your mother keeps howling that by your age, she’d already not only B but C, D, and E, and was 3/4 to F as well. Maybe no one’s saying anything, but you still feel obliged to keep up.

    I rushed into marrying the wrong person because I was 25 and by the time my mother was 25, she’d be married 2 years and had me. And I ruined that marriage because I pressured my husband to start a family because my mother had had 2 kids by 28, and there I was, 28 with “nothing” to show for it. The devastation I caused myself and many others cannot be described, simply because of this stupid competition I was fighting… against myself.

    So please, everyone, just do things at your own paces, don’t compare yourselves to anyone else. I wish I’d had someone tell me this before I fucked up my life.

    P.S. don’t rush into having kids because you feel pressured for any reason. Not every woman has to just because society tells us we do, and IMO it’s better to end up regretting that you never had them than regret that you did. For the record, I never did reproduce and now that I have only a few years left for it but no relationship with a man who I’d want to father my kids, I find myself increasingly happy it never happened for me. <3

    • Brittany

      Amazing advice, Cinnie. I always felt the pressure to have kids and just recently have I begun to ignore the bantering.

      • It’s so hard, isn’t it? I don’t understand why people feel that every woman in the world “must” procreate. Is there a shortage of humans I didn’t hear about? Are we going extinct (and is that a bad thing)?

        And the judgmentalism, when they find out someone is choosing not to have kids… you’ve heard of slut-shaming, this is childfree-shaming, like we should feel deep shame simply because we don’t want to reproduce.

        A woman doesn’t have to have children to feel fulfilled or whole. We’re complete and perfect as we are, and if we choose to have kids, that’s fine, but it’s so hurtful to say that we’re not great as we are without them.

        Please don’t let people peer-pressure you into feeling differently, if you’re truly not interested in it. And if you want to yap about it/vent/whatever, I’m your girl <3

  • Christine

    I totally agree w/ your comment about being ambivalent! Except for me, I think it’s more hesitancy. I’m 23 going on 24 and come June it’ll be 2 years since I graduated college but I don’t feel like I’ve add more “bulletpoints” to my life resume in these past two years. I’m back to being unemployed/job searching again and I feel really hesitant to make any hard and fast decisions on any job opportunities. It scares me to consider a job in my city because I don’t want to live here. It scares me to consider a job in the city I DO want to be in because I’ll be moving and starting over again, and I guess the hardest thing is always getting yourself into motion, whether it’s emotionally or physically, from a state that you’re already in. But, even with all these unknowns in front of me, I do appreciate the growth my 20s provide, and I look forward to the confidence of my 30s :)

  • I agree. I feel the same pressures. I thinking it is apart of the growing pains of the 20’s. In your 20’s you are still coming into your own. It is really a growing experience.

  • wenonah

    Even though I can’t relate, I am happy I read this post. I don’t mean to be catty or come of as “I think I’m better than everyone else”… but it just made me realize how lucky I am not to have that uncertain feeling about my life, a lot of people close to me have that feeling I think and it makes me uneasy when I think about their situation. I need to be more thankful everyday about where I am in life :)

    If your interested, there are many things I know and am certain about in my life: my husband of 4 years that I am in love with, my job that I am also in love with and recently promoted me to supervisor, my family will also be there for me – even if we are bad at showing how we care sometimes, and me and my husband don’t want children and the people around us know that so they don’t pressure us! Thank god for understand mother-in-laws! I am only 22 but married to my best friend (after 3 months of dating we have been married for 4 years!), have a career job that I love and excel at and got right out of high school (youngest ever hired, and now youngest ever supervisor), family and nieces and nephews I adore :) even though my life hasn’t always been easy, it sure is now! And I am grateful every day for it. When you have a never-give-up, work hard and “do your best no matter where you are” attitude – you can excel anywhere.