Baby Clumps: 25 Weeks + Being A Stay At Home Mom. Yay or nay?

| October 19, 2012 | 25 Comments

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Oh man. What a week. For both Baby Clumps and I. I’ve spent a great deal of this pregnancy being emotionally cool and calm but this past week I opened up a friggin’ Tears Factory. I am sooooooo emotional. And this isn’t like me. I’m a reformed crybaby who has become so thugged out that crying rarely happens with me. But this week? Whoa. I’ve been a hot crying mess.

Things That Have Made Me Cry:
-Dropping a banana in the mud.
-Missing out on the great weather because I work inside.
-Loving pomegranates but consistently and unintentionally buying rotten ones.
-Insane migraines.
-Being too cold. Or being too hot.
-Everything.

Insane, right? I’m so weepy during the day and have to excuse myself several times at work to walk it out and get my thoughts together.

Bean’s weekly stats:

“Your little grower’s physical proportions are pretty much birth-ready and most of their remaining development will largely be weight gain and a ton of nervous system development.
The good news is: if your child were to be born premature, they’d likely survive without much trauma as their lungs started producing “surfactant” last week, which means their tiny respiratory system is getting stronger with each passing day.” (source)

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So Bean is growing up and her little kicks are becoming stronger. And some are getting painful! I try not to complain because they are little reminders that she’s doing okay. Esposo can actually feel her kicks now and he spends time singing to her and OMG, it’s the sweetest thing ever. Esposo’s voice already brings tears to my eyes but knowing that Bean can hear him? Oh wow. I cry every time.

When it comes to nutrition and fitness, I am SO damn proud of myself. For one, I’ve kinda sorta cut out my insane consumption of bread. Which is no easy feat, y’all. I get in a lot of fruit and veggies and do healthy snacking. I’m open to idea of chicken again but only in moderation; which is like once or twice a week. I drink at least 80 ounces of water a day and I’ve been walking 1.5 miles each day which doesn’t seem like a lot but it’s something! I want to crank it up to 2 miles by next week. I get in daily stretches too.

Pain-wise, I had 2 migraines last week that left me for dead. I refuse to take any medication (not that they’d help my migraines anyway) and suffered in silence. Sleeping sucks and I have to sleep upright otherwise I wake up with the worst back pain evaaaaaa. I was coming down with a cold few days ago but got rid of that by swallowing garlic, downing raw honey, up’ing my Vitamin C and drinking echinacea tea. Works every time!

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You’ve probably seen me in this yellow cardigan/red belt get-up before. I’ll probably repeat it a dozen times again. I can make it work with everything! Plus I ain’t above rockin’ the same look once or twice. Nope. :cool:

Okay, so quick discussion about the whole being a stay at home mom thing. Prior to getting pregnant, I never even considered being a stay at home mom. In fact, excuse my ignorance, but it seemed…boring. How could I be in the house all day doing chores and tending to a baby? Granted sitting around an office all day isn’t all that exciting but at least I’d have adult interaction and could help provide for my family financially. At least I wouldn’t be playing into that typical role of “Mom stays home with the kids while Dad goes out to work.” At least I’d have a job with goals and would have a sense of purpose outside of raising my children. Plus, daycares are great. Bean would get plenty of infant interaction which will result in her being where she needs to be developmentally. I mean, I’m not a childcare professional. Surely the people at daycare know more about how to educate and care for my child than me. Right?! Right????

I don’t know, y’all. Bean will be here very soon and it just hit me…I don’t want to have to hand her over to someone else and head back to work after she’s only be on this Earth for 12 short weeks. I don’t want to have to pump 4-5 times a day at work when I could be breastfeeding her around the clock. I don’t want to have to worry about her and question if the daycare staff are being clean enough, attentive enough and caring enough. I never WANTED to be a stay at home mom because I thought giving up my career for a life of parenting at home would be hard. But it’s not just about ME anymore. And I’m starting to see that. And I’m feeling super regretful that I didn’t think about this earlier. Chances are I’ll never be a STAY at home mom. Work from home? Absolutely because 90% of what I do for Clumps can be done at home and can provide some financial gain. But can our family financially make it without my full time job right now? I don’t know. We planned for me to go straight back to work and now I’m not sure I can do it. *gulp*

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Quick Bean stats!

Weight Gain: ZERO. Still haven’t gained anything. I’m starting to realize that this is okay.

Weird Symptom: I’ll have this raging appetite and make attempts to stuff my face and then get full after just a few bites.

Fears:Life post-pregnancy. I really don’t want to go back to working a 9-5 and be stuck with leaving my baby at a daycare.

Cravings: None. Although I do want fries at least once a week. And I give myself that as long as I get my daily walks in.

Things I Miss: Ceviche and working out at the gym like a mad woman. I also miss sitting comfortably in the car and sleeping throughout the night.

 

 

Any stay at home moms in the house? Or what about you gals who plan to have kids one day…what route do you think you will take? I don’t know many stay at home moms so this is a topic that I know very little about.

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Category: Pregnancy

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Comments (25)

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  1. Gaelle says:

    Baby Jules turns one on october 4th & I understand…

    But when Baby Clumps will be here, you will be experiencing mixed feelings.
    I want to spend more time with my baby but to enjoy & appreciate every moment with him, I need to get some time for myself.
    Being a mum is a 24/7 job, I think about him a million times a day, wherever I am.

    Don’t get me wrong, I am so in love with him, he is the best thing in my life but as in a relationship, I think you (as a mum) need some private space to “blossom out”.
    Everything is a question of balance.

    I wish I could quit my 8 to 6 job for a part time one & spend more time with him…
    #2 (another baby boy!) will be there by the begining of march, can’t wait to spend some time with them both!!!

    Hope my english isn’t too bad & you got my point of view!

  2. Madeline says:

    Both my parents stayed home with me at one point or another. My dad lost his job when I was a baby and he took care of me at home until he got his own business up and running and then my mom was a stay-at-home Mom up until my sister and I were teenagers. When I was little, I was really embarrassed by it because no one else I knew had a SAHM. But now that I am much older and thinking about having kids in the next five to ten years, I’ve decided that if it is financially possible for me, I want to be a SAHM for a few years, at least until my kids can start school. But even if I was a SAHM, I would probably still put my kid in daycare for at least a few hours, because I work in a school and so many of the kindergarteners have never been around other children before and thus never learned basic social skills.

    So there’s my huge essay on being a SAHM…
    Madeline recently blogged about Love & Beauty Champagne ToastMy Profile

  3. Ishah says:

    I am a SAHM and have been for the past 4 years. I do website/blog design and blog as well which helps to contribute to the finances, but I couldn’t have left my babies while they were still really young. I understand that some people have to work and provide for their families, but I’m glad I was able to stay home because NOBODY can take care of your baby like you can. They need that motherly love and connection. You may not be an expert, but you know your baby best and that instinct is not going to be there in a daycare worker who takes care of many different kids.I take my kids to playgroups and have now enrolled them in classes 2 or 3 times a week, so they get plenty of interaction with other kids. I went back to work part time when my youngest was 1 and it was good, I got to have adult time and contribute to my family and I felt fine about leaving my kids for a couple of hours a day because they were old enough to be fine without me for a while. That might be something to think about, going back to work part time so you still canspend quality time with your baby.Raising a child is one of the most important things you can do, you are forming a child’s personality, morality, and values for the rest of their life. Do you really want to leave that up to an outside influence? This is just my opinion, O hope I don’t offend anyone but I just think that staying home, working from home or working part time is better for your baby and your relationship with your child.

  4. robyn says:

    My little peanut is 4 months now and I’m a SAHM, mostly. I work part time and get to bring peanut with me. It’s hard taking care of a newborn while trying to work but good to have a regular challenge to get both of you presentable and out the door.

  5. KalleyC says:

    I am a SAHM, been doing it since 2009 and I can tell you the job is so far from boring! Yes there are things that needs to get done around the house (the job that never stops), but you get to learn so much about your little one. You get to shape them, teach them, and spend the early years with them.

    I have nothing against mothers who work outside or inside the home; I think any choice you make would be the best for you and your family. My mom was a work out of home mom, and she told me that if she could do it all over again, she would stay at home.

    I think both roles have both ups and downs, guilts and regrets, but overall you are a mom regardless 24/7.

    I also blog about my journey as a stay at home mom and rediscovering myself (as well has share bits of me and my family).
    KalleyC recently blogged about Laying LowMy Profile

  6. Cece says:

    Thankfully where I live we get to take the first year off. But even then it was difficult leaving my guy to return to the workforce. Either way it works out, you and your baby will be fine!

  7. Virginia says:

    I was a SAHM for the first 18mths for my daughters life, and I have to admit, i didn’t love every moment. I missed talking to adults, and not having it be baby related. Also being a workaholic before that, I missed contributing financially. However what I was doing with my daughter at home was just as important. I got to bond with her and have mommy and me moments that only she and I shared. I was helping raise our child , and I loved taking her to the park and running errands. She was my buddy. I went back to work (part time at night so we wouldn’t need a sitter-hubs works during the day), and boy was it hard. She’s 4 now and will be starting school next year, and that’s terrifying. The point is I enjoyed being a SAHM for the time that I could. I wouldn’t trade that alone time with her for anything in the world.
    Virginia recently blogged about Swatches! Loreal Project Runway Nailpolish in The Muse’s AttitudeMy Profile

  8. Lisa G says:

    Ok, I’m 42 with 3 children (17,4 and 1). Currently, I’m a SAHM, but was a single working mom with my first child. So, I have been on both sides of the fence. This truly is a personal decision. But, here is my 2 cents. While some daycares are great, I don’t want other people raising my children for me. I want to instill my values in my children as well as being there for them every step of the way and getting to be a part of all the milestones. Another thing to be aware of is that daycare is a breeding ground of germs and your child will get every cold that comes through there. My oldest got sick, no exaggeration, every other week and got ear infections from the congestion. This continued for 6 months until he went for surgery to get tubes in his ears. It was so terrible watching him be ill, giving him tepid baths at 2 AM because his temp had risen to 104 degrees. Now, kids get sick, but at least at home there is less exposure to all the viruses out there. My husband and I had to do some belt tightening for me to stay home, but where there is a will, there is a way. And I wouldn’t have any other way. I love, Love, LOVE being a SAHM. And I stay crazy busy, but still have plenty of time for me.

  9. Duffi says:

    Hi dear Clumps – I’ve been staying away from the baby discussion, since you’re so clearly working it beautifully for yourself. When you posted this, however, I had to write. I have to agree with Cece: whichever way you decide, you and the Bean will both be fine. I am a strong proponent of staying home for at least the first year, since the infant can really be best taken care of, at least psychologically, by it’s parent (or other primary caregiver). Count me as one of those who hated it sometimes — I missed other adults and that feeling of being useful outside the home. After some consideration, when our baby was six months old, DH & I decided that I would stay home with the kidling. I’ve done some part time work, and it’s really worked out for the best. Seriously consider with Esposo if you can make it work if you stay home; there’s a lot we didn’t do when kidling was growing up, but the stability that we gave her has stood her in good stead. BTW, she’s 19 now, and in college!

  10. Lavendar says:

    I have also been on both sides of the fence. I went back to work at 12 weeks with the first two, but I couldn’t part with the last one. I had an 8-yo, 3-yo, and newborn when I quit my great job, and people thought I was nuts.

    My being home made a huge difference with my kids, and now I wouldn’t have it any other way. I will say that I managed to complete a degree and find a job working from home by the time the baby turned 3; and I did have to find daycare for him while I attended classes and even sometimes while I worked (my Mom), but they were not extended hours.

    I once tried to go back to work FT and my whole family fell apart. The kids acted like they lost their whole foundation; they became unglued. Within 4 months, I had to quit. Again, I went back to working from home and resolved to stop feeling like I was missing out on something. Working from home really is the best of both worlds, but only when the kids are fully school age. You have to find a workaround with older babies and toddlers. If they see you, they want your attention. By age 3, it’s time to at least go to 1/2-day school, so I put mine in a private Christian daycare.

    My kids are older now, but I find I need an even more watchful eye. So I am still a WAHM and will be finishing a second degree in December. I completely understand financial issues and I will never pass judgement on moms who work; I was one and so was my Mom, and I never dreamed I would be a SAHM. But in my experience, it truly is life-changing for all involved.

  11. T.R. says:

    Can’t give any advice b/c I’ve never been pregnant so I’ll let the ladies above/below do that. :O)

    However, I’m glad you and bean are healthy and I wish you so many blessings in this journey.

    In terms of stay at home or not, I say that’s each woman’s personal choice and I respect whatever that choice is. NO ONE can tell you what’s in your best interest. To me the woman’s movement was about giving women the right and voice to make decisions for our selves that are for us personally and our family’s best interest. :O) You and espousa discuss it and way all the pros and cons and then we’ll all respect the decision you two make. :O)

    BTW off topic…where did you get those FABULOUS red drawers – and I mean the ones that your nail polish stuff is sitting on…LOL :O) I WANT THEM!

  12. Kristi says:

    I was a SAHM for 7 years. The company I was working for when I was pregnant with my first closed unexpectedly about halfway through pregnancy. I went on job interviews but never got any callbacks. I wasn’t surprised though. I didn’t bring up my pregnancy but it was obvious that I was – no one was jumping at the chance to hire me for 4 months only to know that I would be out for 3 months. I was surprised when I started looking into childcare @ how expensive it was. At the time I was working in a professional office & when we crunched the numbers – paying for childcare, drycleaning, etc. & going back to work was only going to net $200/mo or less. We figured by losing some of the work costs & cooking more at home, we could make it work. I realize not everyone has that luxury. You have to make the decision that is best for you, Esposo & Bean. And like Cece said – the three of you will be fine whatever your decision because it will be the best decision for your family.
    I’m glad I had the opportunity to be a SAHM – got 7 years with my first & 5 with my second. But I had a group of moms that I met in a breastfeeding support group – we initially started going to lunch after the meetings once a week. Once we didn’t need the support of the group anymore we started meeting for playdates once a week. It was so awesome to know that at least once as week I was going to get out of the house, have adult conversation & be able to ask some of those new mom questions to someone else who was going through approximately the same thing I was.
    Glad you & Bean are doing so well with the pregnancy!

  13. PinkyToes says:

    I plan to stay at home once babies pinkytoes is born. I just can’t see myself going back to my very high stress low reward job while leaving my little dude with somebody else that would get the pleasure of seeing my mini-me all day. Besides I was an only child and I easily amuse myself whether by myself or with others. LOL.

    Besides I have hobbies I can work on and the cost of childcare of a newborn in my part of the states is almost my entire paycheck. On the days the hubby is off I’ll take time to do me stuff so he can bond with baby without me breathing down his neck like a mother hen.

    Whatever you decided to do it will be the best decision for you and your family. Bean will love you either way!

  14. Ashleigh B. says:

    I’m currently a SAHM and was able to stay home with my youngest child. I worked outside the home during my oldest daughter’s infancy. Both have pros & cons. I honestly would prefer working but at this time, it’s not feasible for my family.
    If you’re going to be working, the most important thing is to find a childcare situation that makes you feel comfortable. Otherwise, you’re going to be killing yourself with worry while you’re at work.
    Your baby will love and bond with you just the same in my opinion :)

  15. Andrea L. says:

    I’ve actually been on two different sides: I’ve work in a daycare (in the infant and toddler room, actually), and now I have a 4 month old. To be totally honest, after working in a daycare, I wouldn’t put my son in a traditional one. Daycare workers do their best, but when you have 8-10 little humans under age 2 in the same room, the small babies end up getting the least interaction.

    I stay home with my son now, and it does get a little boring to me, but there’s nothing that compares to knowing that he’s getting he’s best possible care and that I’m with him and getting to watch him develop. If you do decide to stay at home, keep up with your blogging and be sure to get out of the house for some fresh air. Another thing that helps me is actually getting dressed everyday (I make it a goal to at least be out of my pajamas before my husband gets home).

    Anyway, like everyone said, whatever you decide will work best for you is the way to go.

    Blessings with the rest of the pregnancy and the labor and delivery!


  16. my vote is for you to stay at home. now, i’m not a mommy nor have ever been, but my friends that have stayed home have greatly enjoyed it. and the ones that ‘had’ to work missed out on alot of mommy and me time.
    so if you can stay home, do so. enjoy the baby clumps!
    smashedpowder recently blogged about my goodness..i have been a bad blogger!My Profile

  17. KhaliaNicole says:

    “I don’t want to have to hand her over to someone else and head back to work after she’s only be on this Earth for 12 short weeks. I don’t want to have to pump 4-5 times a day at work when I could be breastfeeding her around the clock. I don’t want to have to worry about her and question if the daycare staff are being clean enough, attentive enough and caring enough.”

    This is EXACTLY how I felt, especially about the daycare part because I was a daycare kid and hated it! Liked playing with other kids, hated the daycare owners… and I went to several daycares as a kid. I think for me I just didn’t like being taken care of for most of the day by unfamiliar people.

    SO, now I have a 7 month old baby boy and we are super broke but I still can’t bring myself to consider going back to work. I’ve been toying with the idea of part time for the extra income. But I just can’t do the full time thing. I look into my son’s eyes and think, “Nope!”
    KhaliaNicole recently blogged about Bath and Body Works- Forever Red Eau de ParfumMy Profile

  18. LadyOshKosh says:

    Staying at home is a personal preference and you must do what is best for you–as any mom should.

    My mom worked and then became a stay at home mom due to her physical health deteriorating with RA.

    As the hubby and I contemplate starting our family, the discussion is that I will return to work. I love my job and I love helping people. I hope to find a workable balance. But, I don’t judge stay-at-home mom’s. I am just a busy body who would not be satisfied staying home. Also, financially speaking, that is not a option my husband and I have.

    Unless, of course, we hit this Powerball tonight. ;-)

    Best of luck with whatever you decide, B!

    –Asha

  19. Shan says:

    Hey B!

    Please do a video or post showing your makeup and nail polish organization. You’ve teased me with the pics. I want to see it all.

    Love ya!

  20. Lily S. says:

    I saw your photo on the Wet & Wild display at Walgreens and wanted to say Congratulations… i’m in Los Angeles by the way.

  21. Lisa Bailets says:

    I stayed home w/ my 3 monsters until youngest was in school all day. It is a personal choice. I felt that I would always have the opportunity to work, but they would only be young once.

    If you look at the money spent for daycare, your lunches, your commute, work clothes, dry cleaning work clothes, convenience dinners because too tired to cook, and all the other incidental spending because of working full time, you might see that staying home is affordable.

    Best wishes on life w/ your little mircle!

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