I Can’t Do It All. So I Won’t.

Baby in stroller

I’m a stubborn woman. I ignore sleep when I’m exhausted. If it doesn’t work the first time, I keep trying. I overwhelm myself with promises and responsibilities and then get into mental clusters. Some would say, well…“Welcome to Motherhood”. But honestly, I was like this before my sweet girl graced my life. My Type A personality enjoys taking over and it wasn’t until a friend told me “You can do it all.” that I realized, well…that I CAN’T do it all.

Oh, but honey, I’ve tried. Attempting to raise a sweet toddler who understands English, Spanish, sign language and who gets enough exposure to nature, diversity, music and healthy food? Done. Work full-time at a job that sends me on trips and requires my undivided attention the entire time I am there? No problem. Maintain a 6-year old beauty blog by keeping up with new products and trends, draft posts, connect with the world on social media, take 1,000 pictures of a mascara and polish my nails 5 times in 20 minutes? Cool. Sign up and train for 4 races before April? Easy peasy. Be a loving and supportive wife to my workaholic husband, attend church regularly, volunteer at events on the weekend, plan and prepare healthy meals for my family, be active in social groups, keep up with friendships, find time for “me”. Um…how? How can I do all of that?

I’ve tried. And honestly? I’m failing at it. I want so badly to be MORE than “just a Mom”. I’m trying to be everything to everyone and…failing. I am beginning to scale back. Which is why you may notice sporadic posts on Clumps of Mascara. It’s the reason why sometimes I post on Instagram and sometimes I don’t. I stopped going to so many social meetings. Life can be simple. We complicate it. Oftentimes, WE are our own problems. My goal is to simplify as much as I can.

To spend time with my baby instead of rushing to post a picture of her.
To enjoy that date with my husband without snapping shots of food to upload to Instagram.
To enjoy training for my races without posting an update each time I put on my kicks.
To live disconnected.

And that’s tough considering my day job requires me to be connected aaaaand, my night job requires me to be connected. To share, to comment, to post, to snap. I don’t want to. I just want to be…

Being is easier and most times more gratifying than doing.

Thank you so much for understanding that I can’t do it all. And for supporting me through my faults.

  • Kelly

    Great post. We’re all only human. We try to do it all and then end up missing out on the truly important and beautiful things in life.

    Disconnecting is good. Don’t feel guilty! You have to live your life the way you want to, not to please anyone else.

    I’ve personally become a social hermit lately just because I’d rather just be at home spending time with my husband than running off to a bunch of social gatherings. I’m sure that will change once spring comes. We all have our times when we need to just disappear from the world for a litte.

  • That is such a cute pic! Miss you!

  • farrah

    Brittany, I love your blog but if it comes to you disconnecting for a while then so be it. Understanding that you can’t do it all is winning the battle, choose yourself,your darling baby girl and your husband before anything. The race will be there, instagram,this blog and all other social networks will be here. Take time for you and everything will work out:)

  • This is an awesome post. Its so hard. We’re told we can have it all and do it all. The reality is we can’t. If I miss a few days of posting that ok to me. Right now, Boomer is having trouble at school, so that is my focus. Its very difficult to juggle everything, but I think knowing that you can’t is the first step. I guess in a nutshell, I’m saying I get it, and I support you. I enjoy your posts when they come!

    • Brittany

      I don’t know why society likes to make women think we can do it all. We can’t. Many of us die trying. So thank you for understanding that and being such an awesome and supportive blogger friend. :)

  • Amen sister. Props to you for trying to do it all, and realizing that it all isn’t worth it. You are so amazing. Here’s to posting when you want and when you can… sending love!

    • Brittany


  • You are so smart to step back and take a fresh look at things. At the end of the day no one ever says I wish I had spent more time taking photos, on blog posts, or anything remotely like that. But when it comes to family, your spouse and beautiful daughter of course you never want to miss out on one thing if you can help it!
    Don’t beat yourself up girl. When it comes to the grind nobody does it better but sit back and enjoy all you’ve created. Now is the time to sit back and say I did all of that but now theres got to be more time for me. The future is going to be even sweeter and more relaxed darn it!

    • Brittany

      Such a good philosophy, sis. Thank you so much for the insight.

  • Nathalie

    Hi Brittany, what a eloquent and inspirational post. I am much older than you (in the 50+ category), but still a beauty diva…. through maturity and wisdom I have learned that in life ‘doing it all’ isn’t what brings happiness. I used to be a wonder woman — great job, traveled, kids well cultured, social butterfly etc… and when you do it all, the people around you come to expect it. I fell ill in my mid-40s and that was a real game-changer for me (especially when you realize that you may not life to see another day). I am now a survivor, but I also changed several aspects of my life as I no longer had the energy to do it all. Guess what, 7 years later, I am still the ultimate beauty diva & makeup junkie, I lead a very quiet life with my grown children, my circle of close friends and I no longer feel obligated… I do what makes me feel good…. of course there’s a lot of retail therapy. I even changed careers as I no longer wanted to deal with the 3 day ego-stroking meetings and the traveling… I found a field that I love that allows me the flexibility that I need. Anyhow, thanks again for the wonderful post…. and I completely understand you wanting to disconnect. BTW, after my illness when I decided to leave my high-powered job I had to give in my Blackberry, I thought no problem I will shop around for a new phone, after 2 weeks without a phone I felt liberated as I no longer had people ‘hunting me down’. xoxo

  • Lavendar

    Girlfriend, you are definitely on the right track now. You’re figuring this whole thing out, but your last statement tells me you’re not quite over the hump. The fact that you can’t be everything to everyone is not a fault, it’s a fact of life. Having joy in life is all about establishing priorities and living accordingly. If your first priority is family, then you must take care of your total self in order to be what you desire to be for them. The rest you need to control according to your limitations and not “faults”. We all have limitations, and we all will crash and burn if we don’t learn to take a step back and manage life better with our own needs in mind. Remember that your blog sisters now know you and your struggle and love you for what a wonderful young woman you are and not how many blog posts you put out in a week. Take care of yourself and your beautiful family!

    • Brittany


  • S. Carter

    I know that your family will truly benefit from you taking this step. I will still look forward to your posts when and if they show up. Enjoy the disconnect!!

  • Absolutely, darling! Having a life that doesn’t involve social media-ing through every meal, tv show, Starbucks drink, and gym visit isn’t something you should feel remotely apologetic about! I had a fantastic late brunch with my man today and the food was delicious and gorgeous, but I didn’t take any pictures or even get out my phone. Sometimes the most important moments can be mussed by our need to try to document them as they’re happening. Living simpler sounds lovely, and if that means less CoM posts, that’s cool! It will just make me look forward to them MORE because they’ll be more special and heart-felt. Hugs to you, peaches!

  • It’s definitely more important to watch your baby grow each day than focus on a blog. I understand and I support you. :)

  • Amen! Glad you figured this out early on! Ain’t nobody got time for stress. Jayden’s first year was kind of a blur, for many reasons. One, because I spent too much time chasing things that in the end, didn’t matter. My ultimate goal is to just be, so I am strategically working my businesses in my favor, hence my call for writers. You know I’m thrilled to have you, but I’m totally lax when it comes to schedule. I owe ya an email. 😉