TMI Tuesday: Infertility. When your mind says yes, but your lady parts say no

Note from B: Lots of love to my girl Kate for writing this post for Clumps of Mascara. 

Take it away, Kate!

When Brittany wrote her TMI Tuesday post on visiting the GYN, I was shocked at how many women had said they had never been.

I don’t say that to shame anyone, it just… surprised me. My mother brought me to the gyno, probably at like age 15 or so? And I have been a regular ever since. My gynocologist and I have been in each others lives a long time. Like feet in the stirrups (sands through the hourglass, get it? Not funny? Ok sorry). Moving on.

My relationship with my crotch doc has become even more important as I age, especially when I decided I was ready to have children. It never even crossed my mind that there might be any trouble for me in that area. I was a healthy person overall, I was in touch with my body, I visited the Dr. regularly. I thought when I made the choice to have a baby – I would dim the lights, have some sexy time, and bada boom bada bingo! I thought it would be easy.

I was wrong. TMI? It shouldn’t be.

I did a quick search of “infertility statistics” and the CDC gave me this:

Number of women ages 15-44 with impaired ability to have children: 7.3 million
Percent of women ages 15-44 with impaired ability to have children: 11.8%
Number of married women ages 15-44 that are infertile (unable to get pregnant for at least 12 consecutive months): 2.1 million
Percent of married women ages 15-44 that are infertile: 7.4%
Number of women ages 15-44 who have ever used infertility services: 7.3 million

Um, is it me, or is that A LOT OF WOMEN!? Why is this not talked about more often?

Unfortunately, having children is not just a given for every woman. For many, like me, it can be a struggle. I suffered two losses, and the emotional pain made me search out others who might know how I was feeling. I didn’t have to search far. Friends, relatives, neighbors…MY OWN MOTHER, shared stories of loss and struggle. I was shocked. Why was this all kept so secret? If I had a disease, such as cancer or diabetes, there would be no shame. I would seek treatment and find support in my community. But sometimes, support for women who can’t concieve is difficult to come by. It is kept hush hush, as if it is your FAULT that your body is not cooperating.

I was lucky – I had a wonderful GYN practice who immediately referred me to a Reproductive Endicronologist (RE). I was comfortable with my body and all the procedures, as I was already a gynocological regular. I had success with IVF, and now am the mother to 2 beautiful children. And I am not ashamed at all. I will tell anyone I meet I had IVF – what is there to be embarrassed about? It made me a Mom.

It is so very important that we TALK about these things, that they are NOT TMI topics. Take care of your body. Take charge of your reproductive health. VISIT YOUR GYNOCOLOGIST. Even if you are not even close to ready to have children, a good relationship with a GYN will make things so much easier when you ARE ready. And if you are struggling to conceive? You are not alone.

Did I convince anyone to take the plunge and get to the doctor? I hope so!

 

From B: Have any of you dealt with infertility or miscarriages?  And I know it sounds weird but while I’m not trying to conceive yet, I secretly have a fear of not being able to when the time is right. Anyone else have that fear? 

Happy New Year!!! Win $50 from Sephora.com!

Why not start the new year off with a giveaway?

If you still have your heart set on beauty baubles over at Sephora, let me gift them to you. TWO Clumps of Mascara readers will each score a $50 gift card to Sephora.com. This one is easy. Many thank to Q-Tips! My ambassadorship with them means hook-ups for YOU! Check out the deets below and good luuuuuck!

 

 


a Rafflecopter giveaway

B’s Discoveries of 2011

Well y’all. It’s about to be a new year. Some people are very “whatever” about the New Year but honestly – I LOVE them. I spent most of my New Year’s Eve’s in church. A few years ago I started traveling. This year, I will be enjoying a staycation with Esposo in Orlando and getting my mind right for 2012.

Oh. And celebrating like a mofo because guess who will be 27 on January 2nd? Oooooh yeah. No shame in my game. I am 27 and proud, yo! Before we bid adieu to 2011, I wanted to drop a list of some of my best and most memorble discoveries of this year.

Share yours too!

 

Body-Wise

  • Gray hair. I knew this was coming. Mama Clumps always said women on her side of the family always go gray early. While I have no problem getting older, there’s just something about gray hair. I’m so not ready for it.
  • The menstrual cup. My discovery of the greener and more comfortable alternative to sanitary napkins was reason enough to make 2011 epic. I can’t even begin to tell you how I love my Diva Cup and Lunette Cup.
  • Weight gain. Okay yeah. I’ll admit it. I gained a whopping 20 pounds this year. I call it a discovery because  I literally just discovered it. Never mind that I’m having to buy 14’s and see the obvious weight gain in my face when I take pictures. Oh. And it didn’t help that I got a YouTube comment asking if I was preggo. Dang. While  I am sad about it, I’m confident that I’ll drop the weight again. I’ve done so before!

Products

  • These lip balms. And don’t you dare ask me to choose a favorite. I just can’t.
  • Aaaaand, the Best Lengthening Mascara Award goes toooo…..this guy!
  • I tried Butter London for the first time this year. SO in love with this brand.
  • I tried a whole heap of Boscia this year and they are one of my FAVORITE skincare brands to date.

Personal

  • Age doesn’t matter. I always feared getting older. I was always afraid that I didn’t do enough at 23, 24 or 25. That’s nuts. I’ve done a lot. And as long as I’m living I will continue to do a lot. Life is a blessing and I will no longer be sad about being granted the opportunity to live another year.
  • Having an untraditional wedding was exactly what I wanted all along. I’m so glad Esposo and I started off our marriage the way we did. I have no regrets in not having a big lavish wedding. We did things our way and didn’t have to take out loans to do it. Hollers!

 

 

Food

  • Red onions. I didn’t start liking them until this year.
  • Goat cheese. God himself may have made this cheese. Aside from it being the only kind of cheese that doesn’t make my tummy go haywire, everything from goat cheese pizza to goat cheese salad is just delicious. Goat cheese is life.
  • I discovered and fell in love with both Indian and Ethiopian cuisines; which is refreshing. I was stuck on the Thai, Vietnamese and vegetarian tracks for quite some time.

Hobbies

  • Pinterest. I purposely stayed away from this site for many months. I knew an addiction awaited me. I eventually gave in and because of Pinterest, I have been inspired to  becreative beyond belief. And yes, I definitely consider it a hobby.
  • Knitting. No real reason really. I’ve always wanted to and finally decided to actually do it. Once I master knitting, I want to try crocheting. I take my first class in the new year!
  • Soap making. As an apprentice, I’ve found so much joy in mixing up herbal blends and gifting friends and family members with my creations.

 

Music

  • Lenny Kravitz. How can I just be discovering his music? Three words: He is amazing.
  • Asa. Jazz is my first love and this Nigerian artist sings to my soul. I love her vibe and the positivity in her music.
  • DeBarge. Okay yeah – I’ve known about them for years but their music, OMG…soooo underrated.
  • Bebel Gilberto introduced me to Bossa Nova, a genre of music that is now one of my favorites.

 

TV

…this one is short because I’m just not a TV/movie-watcher.

  • The Walking Dead. I’m not a lover of zombies, vampires and mythical creatures. After a coworker recommended that I watch this show, I became such a huge fan. Sure, it’s a little slow (okay….very slow) but the drama is always to the n-th degree.
  • Law & Order SVU. Never mind that this show has been on for over a decade. One boring evening, I decided to finally watch an episode on Netflix and to say I was hooked is an understatement. Let’s say I have seen every episode and cried when Elliot left the show.

The Lipstick League: Weekly Links, Volume 29

Yay for another post from the The Lipstick League! We are a group of beauty bloggers, bound together by the desire to save the world with beauty, one post at a time!

Gouldylox Reviews – Sure, I can tell you how to improve your skin, make your hair shine or your eyes pop, but how about some good old being beautiful from the inside out? Try one of these ideas this holiday season!

Krasey Beauty – Didn’t get what you want this holiday season? No worries, pick one of these amazing beauty items for yourself at the Gaga Workshop, exclusively at Barneys New York.

Nouveau Cheap – has been waiting MONTHS for L’Oreal Infallible Eye Shadows to hit the US. Were they worth the wait? Come find out!

Prime Beauty – always aims for a flawless complexion– the Make Up For Ever HD Complexion Perfection Starter Kit helps her achieve just that! See what you think of the before and after pictures!

Phyrra – My Independent Spotlight for Christmas is with Femme Fatale Cosmetics! Learn more about Sophie and her Australian-based makeup company.

Vampy Varnish – Has the scoop on the new Too Faced Natural Flirt Makeup Collection for Spring 2012!

we heart this – our John Frieda makeover commercials have finally been released! Watch Stef’s and Tyna’s and learn the scoop about Precision Foam Colour.

Beauty Junkies Unite – Don’t miss this sneak peek of the latest from Bare Escentuals’ BUXOM lineup of products, the new True Hue blushes!

Clumps of Mascara – is a woman that hates shopping. Somehow she managed to pull together a few outfits for only $75 at Sears. Score!

Question of the Week:

Do you have a beauty-related New Year’s
resolution? What is it?

B says, “You know…I don’t really have one. “

Do you have one?

See you next week!

~The Lipstick League

 

TMI Tuesday: Have you ever been sad? Like…REALLY sad?

Mental health is a topic that many of us don’t discuss. Which is so sad because a lot of us suffer in silence. Like taking care of our skin, our reproductive health and staying up on good eats and exercise, I am a huge believer in taking care our mental health. Because what good is a new mascara if you feel…off?

I’ll start this post off by saying I have never been diagnosed with clinical depression. I respect the seriousness of it. So much so that I don’t even like to joke around and say things like,

“I’m so depressed that Sephora sold out of that palette that I wanted.”

I know people who suffer with clinical depression and don’t like using the word so loosely.

Even though I haven’t been diagnosed, I think I can safely say that I’ve had some pretty down moments in my life.

Moments where I felt….numb. Moments where I wanted to be happy and I wanted to be positive but I just…couldn’t be. Some people think that depression is an attitude. That you can just shake it. Or pray it out. Or just…get over it.

Lies. All lies.

Depression is not an attitude. I don’t think it’s an emotion. It’s a feeling that suffocates you. It envelopes you. It’s overwhelming and underwhelming at the same time. I believe I’ve had several bouts of depression. And most people didn’t know about them. I’d move go along throughout my day and keep it to myself. Someone would ask how I’m doing and I’d say, “Fine.” Even though inside I felt like I was dying. And the saddest part is – I could not even begin to tell you why. Because life isn’t THAT bad. I have a roof over my head, a job to go to, money to pay my bills and friends and family members who love me. In theory, I have no reason to be depressed.

Depression doesn’t care.

I say all of this to say, if you are struggling with what you think may be depression, seek help. Churches, universities, community centers and clinics often offer free counseling and therapy sessions. If it’s depression, anxiety, stress, anger issues, substance abuse or addictions, know that you DON’T have to suffer alone.

I know. This is such a heavy post, uh? I wanted to shed some light on a topic that often gets ignored. And maybe some of you can share your experiences with mental health concerns and awareness.

Have you ever dealt with depression or any kind of mental illness? Do you know anyone that has?

Giveaway Winner! Q-Tips Sephora.com giveaway.

Wow oh wow. With more than 600 entries, the Q-Tips Sephora.com giveaway proved to be one of the most popular giveaways on Clumps of Mascara this year. Thank you all SO much for you support on my ambassadorship. The bad news is, I could only select one winner. Buuuuut the good news is, I’ll be doing more Sephora.com giveaways in the future.. In the meantime, help me congratulate our first winner.

Tiffany from North Carolina

 

Congrats Tiffany! Stay tuned for more giveaways on Clumps of Mascara.