This post will have absolutely nothing to do with beauty. I hope you don’t mind that. Sometimes I need to write about something other than a mascara, ya know? I used to write in diaries and journals daily. I miss those days. Even now if I wanted to write in a journal, I’d be consistent for a good week and then fall off the wagon.
Can I be honest? I mean, REALLY honest? I am crazy stressed out. I could blame the pressures of being a new mom but honestly, I think I was stressed before Elle Belle. I’m just one of those people who happens to always be on the edge about something: finances, job circumstances, weight, location, health. You name it and I stress about it. It’s just who I am. And stress isn’t always a bad thing. But lately, I’ve just been wiped out. Do you ever feel like you work too hard but at the same time you’re not working hard enough? It’s so tough to find a balance.
You ever want to get away? I mean, REALLY get away? Not worry about a thing and just jet to an island where the sun is plentiful and the only disturbance you hear are the waves crashing? I’ve been to Miami, Jamaica and the Bahamas…I know what paradise looks like. And man, how I’d love to visit again. But investing in a trip seems crazy when there are so many other expenses in my lane.
I’m not complaining. I’m grateful for every breath I take. I am thankful for my beautiful family, the opportunities that have come by way and the doors that I know will open for me in the future. I am confident and positive but hey I’m all about accepting ALL of my emotions and sheesh…I’m stressed.
I say all of that to say that posts may be slow and inconsistent. My only free time to really blog is after work and I’d rather spend time with Elle and prepping for the next day. And even after she goes asleep sometimes I want to sit in the dark and do nothing. Think about nothing. I just want to be.
Sometimes we DO so much. It’s as if we forgot how to BE. Be in the moment. Be still. Be quiet. And maybe it’s the Capricorn in me but I love the quiet. I need it sometimes.
Tomorrow I’ll put up Baby Elle’s 5 month update. And then after that, I’m just going to go with the flow.