Baby Clumps: 32 Weeks + Leave Kate Middleton alone!

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I feel like it’s been forever since I’ve done an update. The goal was to update weekly but yeah, that’s impossible  because guess who has returned? FATIGUE!!

Girl yes. It is back and it doesn’t give a darn what plans I have or how long my to do list is either. Fatigue is a thug. At 32 weeks pregnant I can honestly say that well, I FEEL pregnant. I am moving slower, my heart races more and I’m just…sluggish. Here’s what Bean is up to,

“Thanks to their recently matured lungs and a strengthening immune system, over 90% of babies born in their 32nd week survive! So – go ahead and throw a mini-party right now because it’s pretty much a done deal – you’ve got a human-bean that’s going to make it! That’s not to say you actually want your wee womb-squatter to pack their bags and move out now, because they’d still end up in the ICU for a good while, rather than in your arms at home. Babies are best when fully baked!” (source)

She’s becoming such a big girl! I can tell because I can now see my belly shake when she hiccups. And her kicks…OMG, her kicks are so intense and jolting. And when I rub my side and tell her to calm down, she kicks me back. I love this kid.

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Health-wise, I’ll admit it – I’ve been sucking with fresh fruits and veggies. I’m not a junk food eater either but I certainly order what I want when I go out to eat. I eat french fries and carbs. Truthfully, if could be worse but I could be doing better too. I’ll be incorporating green smoothies in my diet again next week.

Oh! And in bad news, my blood pressure is going up a bit. It has been consistent and low throughout my entire pregnancy but my last checkup revealed that it was high. Not good at all. High blood pressure at this point could rule me out of birthing at a birth center or maybe even a natural childbirth. The thought of this made me anxious and terrified and shot my BP through the roof even more. I am working on staying more calm. Walking slower, taking alfalfa, eating better food and just not being so anxious all the time. Easier said than done but please cross your fingers for me, y’all. I don’t have to have the “perfect” labor and delivery but I’ll be in a bit of a depressive funk if I have to go to the hospital. Just bein’ honest…

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And in random celebrity news – The Duchess of Cambridge Kate Middelton is expecting and it was reported that she was hospitalized for morning sickness. Soooo many people got on her case about because, you know…WHO gets hospitalized for morning sickness? I mean, it’s just nausea, right? She’s clearly being a royal brat, isn’t she?

Whatever.

I sympathize with you, dear Kate. Granted I wasn’t hospitalized for my morning sickness but do I understand what it’s like to be nauseous and barf over smells EVERYDAY for months? Absolutely. Do I know what’s it like to lose close to 15 lbs because I can’t keep anything down? Yep. People who have never been there don’t get it. Morning sickness doesn’t just affect pregnant women. I’ve also heard that those with chronic conditions or those on serious medications can suffer debilitating morning sickness too. It’s the pits, y’all and it bugged me to see people giving Kate so much heat for something she had no control over. It’s a tough thing to deal with and I so want to send the Duchess a bouquet of flowers and some beauty goodies because I know her pain.

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Baby Stats:

Last Baby Thing Purchased: I still haven’t purchased anything other than a onesie. Thanks to family and friends, Bean officially has EVERYTHING she needs.

Milestones: We chose an amazing pediatrician, Esposo went to Daddy Boot Camp and we’re planning maternity photos.

Total Weight Gain: 7 lbs…

Annoying symptoms: Mild morning sickness, inability to get comfortable, back pain, breathlessness, random heartburn.

Things To Do: Organize the beauty room/nursery, finalize maternity leave dates, get a prenatal massage and pedicure, hang out with as many gal pals as I can and learn how to relax.

Tis all!

Baby Clumps: 29 Weeks + Baby Shower Pics

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Looks like Baby Clumps and I are well into third trimester and things are looking really really good. I seriously don’t have ANY complaints. Which is crazy because last update all I did was complain. I’m starting to discover that I’m having a pretty smooth pregnancy. Well, you know, AFTER I got through the hell that was 1st trimester. The first 4 months was absolutely miserable but now? It’s not so bad. More than anything, I’m starting to look a bit pregnant and my body is just sore. All the time.

But, of course it depends on the day. I’m starting to understand that maybe I just won’t be that pregnant woman with the ginormous belly. And maybe that ginormous belly will pop up in the next month or so. *shrugs* Either way, I ain’t stressin’ it. Especially since my midwife keeps confirming that Bean is growing beautifully.

What Bean is up to,

“If you’ve been feeling weird little fluttering butterflies in your belly, it’s not just your run-of-the-mill pre-birth performance anxiety. Actually, it’s your amazing baby with a case of the hiccups: a fairly common occurrence at this point, due to them practicing breathing for their big birthday. In addition to getting a round of butterfly-like hiccups, your little swimmer has arduously managed to accumulate enough baby fat to account for nearly 3.5% of their overall body weight.” (source)

I’ve felt those hiccups and it’s just the cutest thing in the world to me. I’ve also felt Bean’s monstrous kicks. Those kicks used to be adorable and now they have become so jarring that at any given moment I am left yelping and sinking into my seat. They aren’t painful. Just uncomfortable. I’ve learned her movements though. She’s most active between the hours of 9-11am and then again between 7-9pm. I’ll feel tiny kicks throughout the day but those are the hours she likes to go nuts.

Physically, I am a lot better than I was a few weeks ago. The chiropractor’s fix has me sleeping without much trouble and my neck and back are still A-OK. My legs hurt though so I stopped the walking a mile a day thing and now I’m down to just half a mile a day which sucks. I get insane leg cramps in the middle of the night which wake me up regularly but I’ve discovered that as long as I drink like 90 oz of water a day (which I do without fail), the cramps don’t bug me. I also passed my glucose test with flying colors!

Baby shower pics! These are unedited but I still wanted to share with the Clumps fam. I had about 30+ guests and family members there and it was so so beautiful. Sally Hansen and JOHNSON’S Baby sponsored shower gifts and prizes. The shower had a fall-inspired thing and I was okay with any kind of decoration that wasn’t doused in pink. We had a brunch shower at CRAVE, a restaurant I’ve featured before on Clumps. I hosted a beauty blogger event there before and I love love LOVE their food and service.

Yummy sweet treats…

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Table settings…

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Some friends just know me too well. Look at that Hello Kitty bow!

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Brunch is served!

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Game time! But just 2. I didn’t want to have that “traditional” cheesy games-type shower.

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Mama Clumps moved me to tears when she gifted me a box full of my old baby clothes and sentimental toys. I literally couldn’t talk for a few minutes because I was so choked up.

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A few of my beautiful guests…

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P.S. – Most of the men that arrived were family. And they eventually left and went to the restaurant’s bar (including my Dad and Esposo). Ha! That’s proof that most men really don’t want to be at baby showers. It’s true, ladies. I think most only go because their women drag ‘em along.

My sisters.

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Esposo and I.

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It was a beautiful shower and I was so so glad to see so many friends and family members. I wanted a fun “not so baby shower-y” shower and I think it worked out beautifully.

 

Quick Bean Stats!

Weight Gain: 2 lbs.

Energy?: For the most part, I’m okay but still like to be in bed or prepping for bed by 10pm every night. Then again, that was me pre-pregnancy. Ha!

Fears: I’m feeling pretty fearless these days.

Cravings: Still none.

Things To Be Excited About: Maternity pics and the holidays!!

Baby Clumps: 27 Weeks

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Confession: I don’t really know how far along I am in my pregnancy. By the time I do the posts on Clumps of Mascara, I am usually way beyond THAT date. So yeah, this is Baby Clumps’ 27th week update but I am really well on to my 28th week. And I don’t even know if that’s accurate. I’ve had 3 ultrasounds this pregnancy (an emergency ultrasound at 6 weeks, gender determination at 16 weeks and then an anatomy scan at 20 weeks). I measured differently for each one. My midwife goes by my last menstrual date and since I used the fertility awareness method as my form of birth control and conception, I happen to know this kind of stuff.

But still. My dates are off and when people ask me when Baby Clumps is due, I just say “Mid January” even though she could very well arrive at the end of January or early February. Babies are grow at different paces and since I can’t (nor would I want to) get an ultrasound every month, I am always confused with how old baby girl really is. I’m not trippin’ though. She gets here when she gets here, mon. In fantastic news, guess what? I’m in my third trimester!

Some say the 27th week is when the 3rd trimester begins and others say the 28th week. Either way, I’m up in that party and couldn’t be happier. What the Bean is up to this week.

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“Your not-so-tiny-anymore baby (2 pounds and 14.5 inches long!) is slowly rotating in preparation to “head out” for the grand entrance on their birthday! Now obviously, this doesn’t happen overnight, but when you start to feel a new sort of pressure “down there” (aka your cervix), you’ll know you’ve got a fully flipped locked-n-loaded womb-fruit waiting for the countdown to launch! Impressive physical developments of the week: your child’s lungs are already capable of breathing air as their vascular system can now handle oxygen/carbon exchange and their brain stem can now regulate rhythmic breathing as well as their basal body temperature! At this point in a healthy pregnancy – if you were to give birth prematurely, your tiny fighter could easily win on the show: “Survivor: The Early Years.” (source)

Good stuff, uh? And yeah, I totally feel the pressure ‘down there’. Getting up and sitting down takes quite some time because I feel so heavy. Most of 2nd trimester wasn’t too bad. But 3rd tri is already kicking my butt. I am in a constant state of uncomfortableness. I’m a woman who can tolerate a lot of pain but the back and neck pain I’ve been enduring lately have been insaaaaane. Sleeping on my sides, tummy and back are all uncomfortable. So what’s left is my attempting to sleep straight up. And I can usually get some good sleep that way. BUT my freakin’ neck suffers. As I type this, I have to turn my entire body to look left or right. It’s bad.

I had my first visit with a chiropractor and it was woooonderful. I may have to keep going back to him if the neck and back pain persists. I’ve got internal swelling in my left leg which makes walking painful and totally got in the way of my 2 miles a day mission. I still manage to walk 1 mile a day but it ain’t easy.

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I’m eating well but not over-indulging. I took my gestational diabetes test yesterday and I am sooooo hoping that I passed. If I don’t pass, I’ll have to take it again and NOT eat for 3 hours. Naw bruh. Not cool at all.

This is a super quick update because yeah, I’m at the point of pregnancy where I am just a wreck. I’m trying to stay positive though. I’ve got a baby shower coming up, baby classes, maternity pictures and there is just A LOT of fun things to look forward to. But my neck, my back…ooooooh, my back. It’s a mess, y’all.

Quick Bean Stats!

Weight Gained: Believe it or not but but I am still 3 lbs DOWN from my pre-pregnancy weight. I have gained nothing. Crazy. Bean is still growing like crazy though so I’m okay with that.

Crazy Symptom: Sometimes my sciatic nerve messes up at the wrong time. I’ll get up from a meeting and literally have a shooting pain in my bum. Sexy, uh?

Cravings: None. I am so not the typical pregnant woman.

Sleep?: Negative. I suffer from insomnia, peeing every 2-3 hours and not ever getting comfortable. I’m a walking zombie.

Best Thing About Pregnancy: Feeling Bean kick. It’s weird but I fall in love with her every time she gets her wobble on. Even if hurts.

 

Tis ‘all, y’all!

Baby Clumps: 25 Weeks + Being A Stay At Home Mom. Yay or nay?

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Oh man. What a week. For both Baby Clumps and I. I’ve spent a great deal of this pregnancy being emotionally cool and calm but this past week I opened up a friggin’ Tears Factory. I am sooooooo emotional. And this isn’t like me. I’m a reformed crybaby who has become so thugged out that crying rarely happens with me. But this week? Whoa. I’ve been a hot crying mess.

Things That Have Made Me Cry:
-Dropping a banana in the mud.
-Missing out on the great weather because I work inside.
-Loving pomegranates but consistently and unintentionally buying rotten ones.
-Insane migraines.
-Being too cold. Or being too hot.
-Everything.

Insane, right? I’m so weepy during the day and have to excuse myself several times at work to walk it out and get my thoughts together.

Bean’s weekly stats:

“Your little grower’s physical proportions are pretty much birth-ready and most of their remaining development will largely be weight gain and a ton of nervous system development.
The good news is: if your child were to be born premature, they’d likely survive without much trauma as their lungs started producing “surfactant” last week, which means their tiny respiratory system is getting stronger with each passing day.” (source)

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So Bean is growing up and her little kicks are becoming stronger. And some are getting painful! I try not to complain because they are little reminders that she’s doing okay. Esposo can actually feel her kicks now and he spends time singing to her and OMG, it’s the sweetest thing ever. Esposo’s voice already brings tears to my eyes but knowing that Bean can hear him? Oh wow. I cry every time.

When it comes to nutrition and fitness, I am SO damn proud of myself. For one, I’ve kinda sorta cut out my insane consumption of bread. Which is no easy feat, y’all. I get in a lot of fruit and veggies and do healthy snacking. I’m open to idea of chicken again but only in moderation; which is like once or twice a week. I drink at least 80 ounces of water a day and I’ve been walking 1.5 miles each day which doesn’t seem like a lot but it’s something! I want to crank it up to 2 miles by next week. I get in daily stretches too.

Pain-wise, I had 2 migraines last week that left me for dead. I refuse to take any medication (not that they’d help my migraines anyway) and suffered in silence. Sleeping sucks and I have to sleep upright otherwise I wake up with the worst back pain evaaaaaa. I was coming down with a cold few days ago but got rid of that by swallowing garlic, downing raw honey, up’ing my Vitamin C and drinking echinacea tea. Works every time!

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You’ve probably seen me in this yellow cardigan/red belt get-up before. I’ll probably repeat it a dozen times again. I can make it work with everything! Plus I ain’t above rockin’ the same look once or twice. Nope. :cool:

Okay, so quick discussion about the whole being a stay at home mom thing. Prior to getting pregnant, I never even considered being a stay at home mom. In fact, excuse my ignorance, but it seemed…boring. How could I be in the house all day doing chores and tending to a baby? Granted sitting around an office all day isn’t all that exciting but at least I’d have adult interaction and could help provide for my family financially. At least I wouldn’t be playing into that typical role of “Mom stays home with the kids while Dad goes out to work.” At least I’d have a job with goals and would have a sense of purpose outside of raising my children. Plus, daycares are great. Bean would get plenty of infant interaction which will result in her being where she needs to be developmentally. I mean, I’m not a childcare professional. Surely the people at daycare know more about how to educate and care for my child than me. Right?! Right????

I don’t know, y’all. Bean will be here very soon and it just hit me…I don’t want to have to hand her over to someone else and head back to work after she’s only be on this Earth for 12 short weeks. I don’t want to have to pump 4-5 times a day at work when I could be breastfeeding her around the clock. I don’t want to have to worry about her and question if the daycare staff are being clean enough, attentive enough and caring enough. I never WANTED to be a stay at home mom because I thought giving up my career for a life of parenting at home would be hard. But it’s not just about ME anymore. And I’m starting to see that. And I’m feeling super regretful that I didn’t think about this earlier. Chances are I’ll never be a STAY at home mom. Work from home? Absolutely because 90% of what I do for Clumps can be done at home and can provide some financial gain. But can our family financially make it without my full time job right now? I don’t know. We planned for me to go straight back to work and now I’m not sure I can do it. *gulp*

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Quick Bean stats!

Weight Gain: ZERO. Still haven’t gained anything. I’m starting to realize that this is okay.

Weird Symptom: I’ll have this raging appetite and make attempts to stuff my face and then get full after just a few bites.

Fears:Life post-pregnancy. I really don’t want to go back to working a 9-5 and be stuck with leaving my baby at a daycare.

Cravings: None. Although I do want fries at least once a week. And I give myself that as long as I get my daily walks in.

Things I Miss: Ceviche and working out at the gym like a mad woman. I also miss sitting comfortably in the car and sleeping throughout the night.

 

 

Any stay at home moms in the house? Or what about you gals who plan to have kids one day…what route do you think you will take? I don’t know many stay at home moms so this is a topic that I know very little about.

Baby Clumps: 24 Weeks

This is going to be a super quick post because to be honest, I don’t have any MAJOR updates. I’m actually working on a post about being Pregnant and Overweight but it’s going to take a few more days for me to crank that out. It’ll probably be one of those TMI posts that I love writing but hey…I promised to share a great deal of my pregnancy with y’all and being a larger girl AND pregnant comes with its issues, ya dig?

Anywho – this week Bean has officially reached a level of viability. In a few words, it means that if Bean were born today, she would stand a chance of surviving. Of course, I want her to bake for the remainder of 2nd AND 3rd trimester but it’s just another milestone that I can’t help but be happy about.

If you’re bored enough and want to get the skinny on the hell that was 1st trimester, check out my Baby Bean Bean blog. That blog puts it allllll out there. If you’re super squeamish, I don’t recommend reading it. I get emotional reading some of those posts because man, being pregnant SUCKED then.

See! Told you it would be a quick post. I’ll see y’all next week. Have an awesome weekend!

Baby Clumps: 23 Weeks

I can’t believe the baby in my belly has been around for almost 6 months. Time was going by slowly for a second but it seems like only yesterday that I was 11 weeks pregnant. And 16 weeks pregnant. And now I’m 23? WOW! I am getting more and more excited. I’m ready to meet my little Bean. I’m ready to see who she looks like and what her personality will be like. Of course I do have some anxiety too. I’m going with cloth diapering and that alone seems like a huge challenge. I’m not telling many people that I’m doing it because most just want to talk me out of it. Kinda like how people question why I’m not giving birth at a hospital. Pfft. I’m hoping that Bean will be healthy. And that I’ll fall into the rhythm of motherhood without too many hiccups. I try not to worry too much. Worrying is like so totally first trimester. Just kidding. I think the worrying just gets worse once the babe is born. :???: :shock:

Here’s what baby girl is up to….

“Your little womb hi-jacker is starting to kick their break-dance party up a notch now that his/her ears are registering sounds from the outside world! The sound of a phone ringing, a thunder clap, or a car honking will actually jar their little ears enough to elicit a kick or violent bout of squirming.” (source)

I’ve been talking to Bean for months and now that I know she can actually hear me, I don’t stop rubbing my belly and chit-chatting with her. I don’t feel weird about it either. I’ve spent many years of my life talking talking to myself so at least now I know someone’s listening. Ha!

How do I feel? I feel great. Most days I don’t have a single complaint. I get annoyed with sitting at work for 8 hours a day but I’m moving and stretching hourly. I find it necessary for my sanity and for my body. If I sit too long, getting up actually hurts. I’m drinking a ton of water each day (at least 70 oz) and I’m doing better with eating. I’ve dropped the salt & vinegar chips and I am back with my green smoothie love affair and steamed kale. Chicken and turkey still gross me out but I am so in love with seafood. I know I can’t eat a ton of it so I try to get a good 2 servings a week.

My energy is never consistent. Some days I feel like I could run a 5K. Other days I feel like someone hit me with a stick and I am just out of it. I nap when I can and when I can’t I cry. No really, I do. The fatigue is unbearable when it hits and not being able to nap on demand is pure torture.

I still haven’t purchased anything for babe. Not one thing. My baby shower is next month so maybe I’ll get inspired. I am finally REALLY enjoying pregnancy. This was the part that people talked about! Why couldn’t I have just skipped to this point and avoiding that crap called first trimester?

Oh! And look who stopped hating me.

Of course, this dog is crazy inconsistent so I’m sure in a few days she’ll go back to running from me like I stole her bone. Womp.

Quick Bean stats!

Weight Gain: ZERO. Yep, you read right. While I gained 9 from the 15 that I lost, my last midwife appointment revealed that I lost 5 lbs. So in total, I have lost 3 lbs this pregnancy. The midwife isn’t worried but it freaked me out for a minute.

Symptoms: Nightly leg craps (those mofos huuuuuuurt), occasional fatigue, back pain, stuffy nose that won’t ever go away and occasional heat spells.

Fears: The glucose screening in 4 weeks. This screening tests for gestational diabetes. While I love veggies, I do have a weakness for sweets, white flour and pasta. I’m really going to make more of an effort to slowly rid them from my diet.

Baby Name?: We have one in mind but I’m not in love with it anymore. And I would marry the man that is SOOO involved with naming his child. Ugh.

Baby Shower Theme: The colors are inspired by the colors of fall. Y’all know I couldn’t go with pink. *gags*

Have an awesome weekend!

Baby Clumps: 21 Weeks + How many kids do you want?

Aaaaand we’re back! I didn’t update last week and some of y’all were like “Heyyyyy, where are the Baby Clumps updates?” Last week I had an ultrasound and wanted to wait to get those updates before I did a formal update. Good news! Baby Clumps is tall and right on mark with with everything. The ultrasound technician spend a good 30 minutes pointing out itty bitty baby goodies. Her 4-chamber heart was a beatin’ and Esposo and I were happy to see that she was in good health. She did some kicking and moving and I got all emotional. Because yeah, I know there’s a baby in there but…there’s actually a BABY in there.

Freaky!

What the babe is up to this week….

“Your beautiful little miracle-gro baby will be putting on a full ounce and a half this week. Over in the dermatology department: your sweet lil bun’s thin soft skin is very red, rather translucent, and a bit wrinkled. Lastly, the beginnings of what is commonly called “brown fat” is just starting to fill in to help your baby retain some body heat, which is crucial as they’re not yet capable of regulating their own body temperature.” (source)

Baby girl has officially gone from flutters to kicks. She’s super active in the morning and I can often feel her kicking away after I drink cold water. I never get sick of feeling it. I’ll probably be biting those words when I’m 8 months pregnant. But  I enjoy having the the reminder that she’s doing okay. I don’t feel so in the dark with how she’s doing anymore. Thank God!

Physically, I feel just fine. Nausea has disappeared completely and each day, I feel…good. I have very few complaints. Fatigue comes in spurts. Some days I’ll be fine and others I can’t stay up past 9pm. Backaches are regular but manageable. Sitting at a desk for 8 hours a day ain’t an option and my coworkers are more than aware of my discomfort. I am forever going from standing up and sitting down. The other day I was working on my laptop while on my knees. Yeah.

The belly is shrinking less and less and most days I’ve got a pretty prominent belly. Larger clothes are a must so I’ve been spending a few pennies on those instead of maternity clothes. Most are dresses because finding flattering maternity jeans/pants has been virtually impossible. Some days I don’t feel like I look THAT pregnant. But I soooo feel it.

Soooo lately, Esposo and I have been talking about how many children we want and how we want to space these kiddos out. Having kids back-to-back terrifies me a little because having to deal with being pregnant AND juggling a toddler just sounds…unpleasant. Sure plenty of women do it with no problem but I have to be realistic about what may work with our family. But at the same time, do I really want to wait 5+ years? We’re entertaining the idea of having no more than 3 children but I am completely lost at how spacing will go. I don’t even want to think about getting pregnant again until Baby Clumps is at least 2 years old. Maybe 3 years old.

Quick Bean Stats!

Weight Gain: I have officially gained 1 lb this entire pregnancy. I’m hoping not to gain any more than 20 lbs this pregnancy. I’m not sure if that’s realistic or not but yeahhh.

Fitness?: I had a barre class this week and it was AWESOME. I will definitely be going in my post-natal days. I’m doing yoga/kegal exercises each morning and they are so renewing. Next week will be longer walks with the dog. 20-30 minutes a day if I can.

Ugly Symptom: Heartburn. Tums keeps it away but if I don’t have a Tums around, oooooh weeeee.

Most Common Pregnancy Comment: “You don’t look pregnant at all.”

Food Stats: I am still anti-meat but doing a lot better with incorporating veggies in my diet. The gag reflex and most food aversions have disappeared. I would like to meet with a nutritionist to ensure I’m getting enough iron. I don’t think I am. I eat some junk food too (Salt and Vinegar chips, Skittles, french fries) but in moderation. The fear of gestational diabetes is in the back of my mind so I’m careful.

Stretch marks?: Yep. But I had them on my belly pre-pregnancy. The pregnancy marks are darker though. Somehow I don’t care. I’m growing a life here.

Goals for Upcoming Week: Purchase and start reading The Vaccine Book by Robert Sears. I am not okay with how many shots babies are getting at such young ages. Esposo and I will be doing some hardcore research on this. It’s also time to sign up for a childbirth or child raising class. I would like for us both to be aware of how to do CPR on a baby.

Moms and gals who want to be Mommies….how many kiddies do you want? And how far apart do you want to space them? 

 


Baby Clumps: 19 Weeks + Being The Mom With A Life

Talk about a belly that grew overnight, uh? I’m actually okay with the fact that I didn’t really pop until close to my 5th month. As a woman who has always tried to lose weight and not gain, gaining too much too soon would have put me in the nut house. For awhile I thought something was wrong with me because I didn’t look pregnant. Like the old saying go, “Be careful what you wish for.” My overnight belly is reminiscent of my boobies. I went from undershirts to double DDs in like…a night. I’m not even kidding. I always tell the joke that one day I woke up and a boob plopped on the floor.

I’m so inappropriate, y’all. Poor Bean. She’s going to have to endure crazy stories like that for a lifetime.

What the babe is up to this week….

“Your favorite womb-hijacker is suddenly huge, at 10 inches in length! This week your lil’ fetus will start digesting the extremely appetizing diet of amniotic fluid and baby wee, as they are now capable of swallowing, digesting, and passing the fluid as far as their tiny “large” intestines.” (source)

How do I feel? GREAT! I really don’t have many complaints. My back hurts all the time but I try to get up and move throughout the workday. Nausea still greets me in the morning and early evenings (whether I snack or not) but I’ve learned to just deal with it. I remind myself of Filbert from Rocko’s Modern Life.

Aside from the nausea, I do okay day-to-day. I thought I’d be free from heartburn but I get that daily too. It’s manageable though. Annoying? Yes. Worse than 1st trimester sickies? No. And for that reason, I don’t complain about much.

So today’s random topic is something that is quite controversial and I may step on a few toes. Not intentionally of course but when pregnancy and motherhood is discussed, things get a little funny. So here’s the thing…

I wasn’t one of those little girls who pictured herself being a mother. I had baby dolls and Barbies but they were more accessories in my girldom than actual toys that foreshadowed my future. Even in high school and college, I knew I wanted to be married and have kids, but it was never something that I actively worked towards. I didn’t have that maternal clock that many of my friends seemed to have. In fact, in my early 20’s, motherhood seemed to be more of an inconvenience than anything else. I pictured myself having to swap everything I loved to become a Mom. I thought I’d have to loose my self-identity, friends, hobbies and passions to raise a child. I’d seen friends do this and just knew that being a Mom closer to to my 30’s was the only choice for me. I wanted to really LIVE before becoming a Mom. And so lived I did.

Esposo and I made the decision to become parents because we thought we were in a good place in our lives to do so. Plus we both genuinely wanted to be parents. Now with being just a few months away from being a Mom, I still have this fear that I’ll be so consumed with motherhood that I will loose myself. I have no problem dedicating my life to raising my children but I want to ensure that Esposo will still continue making music a part of his life. And that I will still blog, travel, volunteer and workout like I’ve been doing before pregnancy. We don’t live near relatives so I can’t rely on grannies as nannies and cousins who will babysit while I go to the gym. I’m sure it’ll be a challenge to even crank out a blog post every day. While battling this fear, I run into spurts of “You know what…we can do this!” And that’s what keeps me going. There are plenty of women who have managed to find a balance between parenting and running businesses, working outside of the home, enjoying their hobbies and spending time with their friends.

Bean will gleefully be #1 in our lives and there’s no doubting that but I will try my hardest to be that Mom with a life. Is that okay? Is it okay that I want my children to be integral parts of my life without making them my entire life? My friends with kids say that ‘things will change’ when Bean is born and I’m sure but that’s not the kind of discouraging comment a first time mom wants to hear, ya know?

Quick Bean Stats!

Weight Gain: 9 lbs! I freaked out for a minute but then realized that I lost a significant amount during first trimester. Midwife confirms that I’m right on track but thinks that Bean may be a week or 2 ahead of schedule. I’ll be scheduling an ultrasound to see.

Strangest Symptom: The other night I noticed my tummy beating as if it was my heart. So weird!

Maternity Photos?: Yep. They’ll have a comic book spin, I’m sure. We won’t be doing any bare-bellied pics. I kinda hate those…

Baby Registry: Finally got ‘em done! My Mom and sister did everything. I didn’t realize how clueless I was when it came to baby essentials.

Last person to touch my belly: So I’m on the elevator and this random man asks me if I’m pregnant and then proceeds to try and touch my belly. Men do this?! I don’t want any stranger touching me but some creepy man? Eww!

Goals for Upcoming Week: Prenatal yoga this weekend! The goal is to do it at least once a week. I also need to finalize a venue for the shower. Oh! And drink more water. I get down 60 oz a day but the midwife says I should be doing more. Oh boy…

 

Any gals out there who aren’t moms but want to be one day and can relate to the fear of potentially loosing yourself in motherhood? Is there a sure way to combat these feelings? 

Other Baby Posts:
-Bean’s Announcement
-Baby Clumps: 15 Weeks
-Baby Clumps: 16 Weeks + Gender Reveal
-Baby Clumps: 17 Weeks + Confusion
-Baby Clumps: 18 Weeks + Guys at baby showers?