Elle’s Birth Story

[NOTE: I omitted a lot of the squeamish parts of labor and delivery but if you have any particular questions, I am so okay with answering them in the comments. Like, did I really encapsulate my placenta? Sure did!]

DSC_5606

I feared a lot throughout my pregnancy. It was ridiculous, really. I am naturally a very anxious person and pregnancy only heightened that for me. My decision to go with a midwife instead of an OB/GYN didn’t help the situation either. The midwifery philosophy means trusting the woman’s body to do what it needs to do to nurture baby in-utero without much intervention. While some women may get ultrasounds at every prenatal appointment, I had one at 20 weeks. I was in the dark throughout most of my pregnancy. Instead of trusting my body, I questioned if everything was okay. If she didn’t move, I’d freak out. If she moved too much, I’d freak out. I was in panic mode 24/7. The crazy thing is, the only time I really trusted my body was when I was going through labor.

DSC_5517

My water broke when I was polishing my nails. But of course, right? I flew out of the beauty room to Esposo. My pants were to my ankles and I was running back and forth like some maniac. We decided to call the midwife and they recommended that I come in ASAP so they could test me to see if I was leaking amniotic fluid. I just knew I was wasting my time. Because obviouslyyyyy, my water didn’t break. I just peed on myself. That’s it.

But we hopped in the car and drove the midwife and within 20 minutes I had my legs spread all open for the world to see.

“You’re having a baby today.” said the midwife.

I tossed myself in Denial River again.

“Wait, wha?…no. No. Like..not today. How do you know? Is this real life?”

We were told to go back home so that I could labor there and to come back in 4 hours. I tested positive for Group B Strep and had to have an antibiotic. Which also ruled me out of that glorified water birth that I wanted. Womp. We got home and I threw myself in the nook of the sofa and then labored on my labor ball. Esposo kept glancing at me and was steadily asking me if I needed anything. He was so calm. So so calm. I was fine. I couldn’t understand why people said labor was sooo hard. If these were contractions (mind you, that hadn’t started yet), I was doing amaziiiing.

DSC_5507

10 minutes later I was on the floor on all fours moaning and groaning. I’d go from the floor to rolling on my yoga ball. The contractions were in, ladies and gentlemen. And those mofos hurt. The only respite I got was the few minutes between contractions. Those minutes were glorious. I timed my contractions. 3-4 minutes apart. I got so uncomfortable that I crawled up to the bed. The contractions got worse. And worse. And worse. I hummed throughout them. I focused on my breathing. I got that from reading Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth. That book spoke to my hippie soul. It is chock full of birth stories where the women were having babies in cabins and in the woods and all of that craziness. That’s so me. I’d have a baby in a cabin. Yep.

Esposo began packing up the car. He told me I should try to eat something before we left. Good idea. Each step I took killed me. I winced in pain. I continued to hum. Being upright was the worst. I somehow made it to the car and we took the 15 minute trek to the birthing center. Each bump made me want to hurl. I kept timing my contractions. 2 minutes apart and there weren’t many breaks in between.

We made it to the birthing center and they got us settled in the room. The midwife checked me and I was already 5 centimeters dilated. This baby was coming. And I was dying. My Mom was nowhere to be found because earlier that day she told me that she had gotten dreadfully ill and that I simply couldn’t have the baby today. How could my Mom not be there through this? My doula was on her way but I just knew she wouldn’t make it either.

In my head I was cursing up a storm. Out of my mouth, all I could do was hum and say, “Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouuuuuuch.” Over and over again. The sweet nurse brought me ice cold water.

“I’m going to throw up.” I told her.

She brought me a pan and I threw up. I knew I was probably going through transition and that shortly after barfing, the pain would only intensify. I tried to stay calm. I asked Esposo to rub my back.

“Get off of me.” I tell him seconds later.

I was loosing it. The pain was out of control. Now that I look back at it, the contractions were painful but manageable. I suffered from painful menstrual cramps my entire life and so my pain tolerance is pretty up there. The real pain came from the perineal massage that my midwife gave me during those contractions. I wanted to kick her in her chin each time she told me to relax as she tried to massage the nether regions. I knew that she was only doing this to help prevent me from tearing but I was an animal at that point. I just wanted that baby out and I didn’t want anyone touching me.

If you’re not familiar with childbirth, when a baby is ready to come out, you push as if you have to take a poop. It’s the weirdest feeling because not only are you dealing with the pressure from baby bearing down, but you’ve also got those contractions kicking. It’s hard to focus and stay calm but I pushed and pushed and pushed and Baby Elle was born into the world at 5: 27pm. I was in active labor for 5 hours and I pushed for 17 minutes. My labor went so quickly that I didn’t even have a chance to rip my shirt and bra off.

DSC_5561

My labor and delivery is considered speedy for a first time mom and quite frankly, after everything was said and done, I felt like I deserved an effing award. Soooo many people told me I was crazy for having a baby in a birthing center without the option of an epidural and pain meds. If I had to do it all over again, I would not have changed anything. Because Elle was considered small at 5 lbs, the birthing center recommended that we go to the hospital (uggghhhh) to have her fully examined. We were hesitant to do this because her Apgar scores were already high at a 9 and 10 and we just knew the hospital would give us a bunch of run around. And we were right. We spent hoursssss at the hospital. Just for them to tell us what we already knew. Our baby was healthy. Just small with a touch of jaundice. This detour to the hospital prevented Elle and I from really practicing her latch when it came to breastfeeding. It also resulted in two overwhelmed and fatigued first time parents who wanted nothing more than to just take their baby home.

So yes, while my labor and delivery was “perfect”, the events that followed were not. But it doesn’t matter. Baby Elle is here and she’s happy and healthy.

I always considered myself to be a strong woman, both physically and mentally. Giving birth to my daughter gave me a new badge of honor. I left that birthing center so so soooo proud of myself. Yes, I was terrified that my baby decided to come 3 weeks early and I was soooo sad that family members and friends couldn’t make it but the pride I had in myself trumped the sadness and fear that enveloped me during labor.

And not to sound like some superwoman, but pregnancy, labor and delivery are all easy compared to the struggle that came with breastfeeding and dealing with those postpartum hormones. THAT’S the part that people don’t tell you about. Stay tuned for more posts on life with baby. I know Clumps is a beauty blog but I think it’s important to normalize conversations like breastfeeding and the not so bubbly parts about being a first time mom. And if you could care less about that kind of stuff and would rather read about cosmetics, then hey, it’s all good too. I promise not to overload the blog with baby stuff. Maybe once a week or so. :wink:

Baby Clumps has a cosmetics case!

Yes y’all. My child already has a cosmetic bag. And don’t go judging me. It’s not like I  will have her wearing lipgloss just yet. In fact, I’m  pretty old fashioned so even though her mommy is big into cosmetics, Baby Clumps probably won’t be allowed to wear anything until she’s in middle school. Maybe high school.

Except a lil’ nail polish here or there. :cool:

I’m in the process of packing my labor bag and Bean’s birthing center bag and just wanted to show off a bit of the goodies in her bag.

DSC_5163

As much as I don’t like the color, I’ve learned that I just can’t avoid pink when it comes to baby girl stuff. I’m dealing with it though because everything is so much cuter when it’s itty bitty. Since I’ll be giving birth at a birthing center, we have to bring all of the comforts of home. For baby skincare products, I’m obsessed with Shea Moisture Baby and Earth Mama Angel Baby. These will likely be the first two items that hit Bean’s skin shortly after her birth.

DSC_5170

Her little comb and brush…

DSC_5172

…although she may be a baldy. Which is adorable. And I’m not sure how soon I can go around brushing her tender scalp so we may not even use these.

Her nail clippers and filer…

DSC_5174

Because I hear that some newborns have super long nails. I don’t want Bean to accidentally scratching herself so we’re going to make sure those nails are cut low.

And that’s it! I’ll show off her coming home outfit soon. It’s getting soooo close, y’all. Eeeek!

Baby Clumps: 34 Weeks

DSC_4847

Yep. I’m still pregnant. I feel like I’ve been pregnant forever and yet people keep telling me I still have such a looooong way to go. Which just annoys me. Basically I’m cranky pretty much ALL the time.

But I try not to look it. In fact, I try to leave the house looking as fly and gorgeous as I can. Just because I feel like crap doesn’t mean I should look like it, darling. Mama Clumps taught me this and it’s a rule that I think everyone should follow. Unless you’ve got a migraine. It’s okay to look like hell if you have a migraine. Yep.

Here’s what Bean is up to,

“Your amazing baby is on the move! Until now, your wee womb-squatter’s been living fairly high up in your poor stretched-out womb – blithely compressing your poor lungs and internal organs. This week your baby’s going to pack their tiny bags and make the epic shifting move to your pelvis – commonly referred to as the time when baby “drops”. If you haven’t noticed it already, you’ll be feeling the weight shift indicating your baby is most likely out of breech position with their head now resting on your pubic bone. In developing internal-organ news: although not quite fully formed, your little poop-factory’s liver is now capable of processing a certain amount of waste.” (source)

PregB2

I’m pretty sure she has dropped. I can’t tell by looking at my belly but I am peeing a lot more and I just feel “heavy” down there. Fatigue is constant yet my workload continues to pile up so I can’t get much sleep. I’ve become incredibly lazy after work and have a hard time doing chores. I’ve had a few bouts of sadness and yeah, I’m putting it out there because pregnancy isn’t all sprinkles and longer hair and nails. I’m not even in the Christmas spirit (soooo unlike me) mainly because I’m too tired and lazy to decorate. Esposo’s work schedule has been crazy so we’re both always coming and going.

I’ve finally realized that I kinda sorta look pregnant (took long enough) and can’t do everything but then I feel bad when I can’t. Ah well.

DSC_4850

Health-wise, my blood pressure is down! Woo hoooo. I’m still drinking my 90oz of water. I’m not eating super healthy but whatev. My fitness is practically non-existent because walking for too long hurts. I suppose I could be doing some prenatal yoga and stretching though. I had all of these plans for what I wanted to do while pregnant and at this point, just getting up and going to work each day seems like a challenge so I’m doing the best that I can.

The nursery/beauty room is still a hot mess…

DSC_4838

DSC_4839

And I’m all like…

DSC_4840

…because I literally have no idea where to start. And you know it’s sad when your own mom has to send you a To Do List of things to do before baby arrives. I know. I’m a mess. A stressed mess in a dress. Eeek!

 

Total Weight Gain: 8 lbs

Symptoms: Morning sickness, fatigue, irritability, stuffy nose, nightly leg cramps, insomnia, back pain.

Bean’s Activity: She’s crazy active. Some days she moves for hourssssss at a time.

Food Cravings: None. But don’t ask me to go to the grocery store. I’ll only come back with cookies, candy and ice cream. :cool:

Last Day of Work: Don’t have one. I plan to work up until I go into labor. Crazy but hey, maternity leave in the U.S. sucks. Gotta get what you can while you can.

Christmas shopping?: I haven’t done any. None. At all. Like…none.

Baby Name?: Yep! Bean officially has a first and middle name. It won’t be revealed until after she’s born though. Only close friends and family members know.

 

Is it crazy that I don’t have much done and this baby could arrive in the next month? Got any tips for me? Oh…and as far as that cloth diapering thing – yeah, no. I’m going to go with disposables for now. Maybe I’ll do some part-time cloth diapering but as a working mom, I don’t know how I’ll be able to handle that.

Preggo Products: Clarins Beauty Beginnings Pregnancy Kit

Ooooh, the joys of pregnancy. You know, the one or two. I’ve had a fairly easy pregnancy (compared to what most women go through) but after 8.5 months of carrying Bean, I’m just anxious and ready to see her little face. I’m all achey and bloat-y, sleepy and everything in between. But life must move on and I love how beauty brands are showing mommies love. Check out this Beautiful Beginnings Pregnancy Kit from Clarins.

DSC_4069

DSC_4055

My friends that are already mommies tell me I’m crazy but I intend to continue to pamper myself throughout motherhood. I know life is gonna be crazy with a newborn but does that mean I’m going to let my skin, hair and nails go to hell? Um no. I’ve been makin’ it my business to pamper myself throughout this pregnancy and this kit has been niiiiice. You unzip the cute lil’ tote and the first thing you’ll see is a Preggo Chick book.

DSC_4057

DSC_4060

DSC_4063

This was totally up my alley and all beauty lovin’ mamas would love the little tips and tricks this booklet provides. I read it in one sitting. Which is easy to do because it isn’t THAT long. My skin has been going through crazy changes and the guide gave some insight as to what’s going on and how to help. There were also some helpful breathing techniques and exercise suggestions. Good stuff. As far the products inside…

There’s the Huile Tonic Body Oil Treatment (3.4 oz)

DSC_4077

I adore how this smells. It smells like a bunch of woodsy essential oils (rosewood and rosemary. Mmmm….) and it’s definitely up my alley. You know, since I’m all sensitive to fragrances and all. It contains plant extracts and regular use of it is supposed to help the skin’s firmness. And it isn’t super oily which is also a good thing.

Smoothing Body Scrub for a New Skin (1oz)

DSC_4078

If you’ve met one body scrub, you’ve met them all. This one has a nice consistency and the floral scent seems to dissipate after use.

Stretch Mark Control (1oz)

DSC_4081

I still don’t think you can fight stretch marks (I believe they are genetic) but I’m a sucker and don’t mind using products that say that’ll help them fade or diminish over time. This fragrance-free moisturizer isn’t greasy and moisturizes nicely.

Beauty Flash Balm (0.5oz)

DSC_4083

This was the one product where I found the scent to be a tad bit overpowering. The balm is super powder-y and floral but it feels niiiice on the skin. It seems to be just as hydrating as the Stretch Mark Control cream. This facial balm is supposed to help brighten and tighten over time.

Also in the tote is a soft baby blanket.

DSC_4086

Such a nice little kit, uh? As a first time pregnant gal, I’m lovin’ it. Sure I likely won’t use all of the products but the trial sizes are nice sized enough to make me happy. The Tonic Body Oil Treatment is the true star here. It normally retails for $54 so the $60 price tag on this kit seems about right. Especially for a higher-end skincare brand like Clarins.

If you know a pregnant beauty gal, consider scooping this up for her. You can get it from Clarins counters and at ClarinsUSA.com.

 

Wanna send me to Germany? Vote for me…pretty pleaeeease! Click here

Baby Clumps: 32 Weeks + Leave Kate Middleton alone!

DSC_4433

I feel like it’s been forever since I’ve done an update. The goal was to update weekly but yeah, that’s impossible  because guess who has returned? FATIGUE!!

Girl yes. It is back and it doesn’t give a darn what plans I have or how long my to do list is either. Fatigue is a thug. At 32 weeks pregnant I can honestly say that well, I FEEL pregnant. I am moving slower, my heart races more and I’m just…sluggish. Here’s what Bean is up to,

“Thanks to their recently matured lungs and a strengthening immune system, over 90% of babies born in their 32nd week survive! So – go ahead and throw a mini-party right now because it’s pretty much a done deal – you’ve got a human-bean that’s going to make it! That’s not to say you actually want your wee womb-squatter to pack their bags and move out now, because they’d still end up in the ICU for a good while, rather than in your arms at home. Babies are best when fully baked!” (source)

She’s becoming such a big girl! I can tell because I can now see my belly shake when she hiccups. And her kicks…OMG, her kicks are so intense and jolting. And when I rub my side and tell her to calm down, she kicks me back. I love this kid.

DSC_4402

Health-wise, I’ll admit it – I’ve been sucking with fresh fruits and veggies. I’m not a junk food eater either but I certainly order what I want when I go out to eat. I eat french fries and carbs. Truthfully, if could be worse but I could be doing better too. I’ll be incorporating green smoothies in my diet again next week.

Oh! And in bad news, my blood pressure is going up a bit. It has been consistent and low throughout my entire pregnancy but my last checkup revealed that it was high. Not good at all. High blood pressure at this point could rule me out of birthing at a birth center or maybe even a natural childbirth. The thought of this made me anxious and terrified and shot my BP through the roof even more. I am working on staying more calm. Walking slower, taking alfalfa, eating better food and just not being so anxious all the time. Easier said than done but please cross your fingers for me, y’all. I don’t have to have the “perfect” labor and delivery but I’ll be in a bit of a depressive funk if I have to go to the hospital. Just bein’ honest…

DSC_4413

And in random celebrity news – The Duchess of Cambridge Kate Middelton is expecting and it was reported that she was hospitalized for morning sickness. Soooo many people got on her case about because, you know…WHO gets hospitalized for morning sickness? I mean, it’s just nausea, right? She’s clearly being a royal brat, isn’t she?

Whatever.

I sympathize with you, dear Kate. Granted I wasn’t hospitalized for my morning sickness but do I understand what it’s like to be nauseous and barf over smells EVERYDAY for months? Absolutely. Do I know what’s it like to lose close to 15 lbs because I can’t keep anything down? Yep. People who have never been there don’t get it. Morning sickness doesn’t just affect pregnant women. I’ve also heard that those with chronic conditions or those on serious medications can suffer debilitating morning sickness too. It’s the pits, y’all and it bugged me to see people giving Kate so much heat for something she had no control over. It’s a tough thing to deal with and I so want to send the Duchess a bouquet of flowers and some beauty goodies because I know her pain.

DSC_4438

Baby Stats:

Last Baby Thing Purchased: I still haven’t purchased anything other than a onesie. Thanks to family and friends, Bean officially has EVERYTHING she needs.

Milestones: We chose an amazing pediatrician, Esposo went to Daddy Boot Camp and we’re planning maternity photos.

Total Weight Gain: 7 lbs…

Annoying symptoms: Mild morning sickness, inability to get comfortable, back pain, breathlessness, random heartburn.

Things To Do: Organize the beauty room/nursery, finalize maternity leave dates, get a prenatal massage and pedicure, hang out with as many gal pals as I can and learn how to relax.

Tis all!

Baby Clumps: 29 Weeks + Baby Shower Pics

2012-11-13

Looks like Baby Clumps and I are well into third trimester and things are looking really really good. I seriously don’t have ANY complaints. Which is crazy because last update all I did was complain. I’m starting to discover that I’m having a pretty smooth pregnancy. Well, you know, AFTER I got through the hell that was 1st trimester. The first 4 months was absolutely miserable but now? It’s not so bad. More than anything, I’m starting to look a bit pregnant and my body is just sore. All the time.

But, of course it depends on the day. I’m starting to understand that maybe I just won’t be that pregnant woman with the ginormous belly. And maybe that ginormous belly will pop up in the next month or so. *shrugs* Either way, I ain’t stressin’ it. Especially since my midwife keeps confirming that Bean is growing beautifully.

What Bean is up to,

“If you’ve been feeling weird little fluttering butterflies in your belly, it’s not just your run-of-the-mill pre-birth performance anxiety. Actually, it’s your amazing baby with a case of the hiccups: a fairly common occurrence at this point, due to them practicing breathing for their big birthday. In addition to getting a round of butterfly-like hiccups, your little swimmer has arduously managed to accumulate enough baby fat to account for nearly 3.5% of their overall body weight.” (source)

I’ve felt those hiccups and it’s just the cutest thing in the world to me. I’ve also felt Bean’s monstrous kicks. Those kicks used to be adorable and now they have become so jarring that at any given moment I am left yelping and sinking into my seat. They aren’t painful. Just uncomfortable. I’ve learned her movements though. She’s most active between the hours of 9-11am and then again between 7-9pm. I’ll feel tiny kicks throughout the day but those are the hours she likes to go nuts.

Physically, I am a lot better than I was a few weeks ago. The chiropractor’s fix has me sleeping without much trouble and my neck and back are still A-OK. My legs hurt though so I stopped the walking a mile a day thing and now I’m down to just half a mile a day which sucks. I get insane leg cramps in the middle of the night which wake me up regularly but I’ve discovered that as long as I drink like 90 oz of water a day (which I do without fail), the cramps don’t bug me. I also passed my glucose test with flying colors!

Baby shower pics! These are unedited but I still wanted to share with the Clumps fam. I had about 30+ guests and family members there and it was so so beautiful. Sally Hansen and JOHNSON’S Baby sponsored shower gifts and prizes. The shower had a fall-inspired thing and I was okay with any kind of decoration that wasn’t doused in pink. We had a brunch shower at CRAVE, a restaurant I’ve featured before on Clumps. I hosted a beauty blogger event there before and I love love LOVE their food and service.

Yummy sweet treats…

DSC_1885

Table settings…

DSC_1919

DSC_1903-001

Some friends just know me too well. Look at that Hello Kitty bow!

DSC_1916

Brunch is served!

DSC_2030

Game time! But just 2. I didn’t want to have that “traditional” cheesy games-type shower.

DSC_2088

DSC_2108

Mama Clumps moved me to tears when she gifted me a box full of my old baby clothes and sentimental toys. I literally couldn’t talk for a few minutes because I was so choked up.

DSC_2171

A few of my beautiful guests…

DSC_2484

DSC_2485

P.S. – Most of the men that arrived were family. And they eventually left and went to the restaurant’s bar (including my Dad and Esposo). Ha! That’s proof that most men really don’t want to be at baby showers. It’s true, ladies. I think most only go because their women drag ‘em along.

My sisters.

DSC_2516

Esposo and I.

DSC_2569

It was a beautiful shower and I was so so glad to see so many friends and family members. I wanted a fun “not so baby shower-y” shower and I think it worked out beautifully.

 

Quick Bean Stats!

Weight Gain: 2 lbs.

Energy?: For the most part, I’m okay but still like to be in bed or prepping for bed by 10pm every night. Then again, that was me pre-pregnancy. Ha!

Fears: I’m feeling pretty fearless these days.

Cravings: Still none.

Things To Be Excited About: Maternity pics and the holidays!!

Baby Clumps: 27 Weeks

2012-10-24

Confession: I don’t really know how far along I am in my pregnancy. By the time I do the posts on Clumps of Mascara, I am usually way beyond THAT date. So yeah, this is Baby Clumps’ 27th week update but I am really well on to my 28th week. And I don’t even know if that’s accurate. I’ve had 3 ultrasounds this pregnancy (an emergency ultrasound at 6 weeks, gender determination at 16 weeks and then an anatomy scan at 20 weeks). I measured differently for each one. My midwife goes by my last menstrual date and since I used the fertility awareness method as my form of birth control and conception, I happen to know this kind of stuff.

But still. My dates are off and when people ask me when Baby Clumps is due, I just say “Mid January” even though she could very well arrive at the end of January or early February. Babies are grow at different paces and since I can’t (nor would I want to) get an ultrasound every month, I am always confused with how old baby girl really is. I’m not trippin’ though. She gets here when she gets here, mon. In fantastic news, guess what? I’m in my third trimester!

Some say the 27th week is when the 3rd trimester begins and others say the 28th week. Either way, I’m up in that party and couldn’t be happier. What the Bean is up to this week.

DSC_1817

“Your not-so-tiny-anymore baby (2 pounds and 14.5 inches long!) is slowly rotating in preparation to “head out” for the grand entrance on their birthday! Now obviously, this doesn’t happen overnight, but when you start to feel a new sort of pressure “down there” (aka your cervix), you’ll know you’ve got a fully flipped locked-n-loaded womb-fruit waiting for the countdown to launch! Impressive physical developments of the week: your child’s lungs are already capable of breathing air as their vascular system can now handle oxygen/carbon exchange and their brain stem can now regulate rhythmic breathing as well as their basal body temperature! At this point in a healthy pregnancy – if you were to give birth prematurely, your tiny fighter could easily win on the show: “Survivor: The Early Years.” (source)

Good stuff, uh? And yeah, I totally feel the pressure ‘down there’. Getting up and sitting down takes quite some time because I feel so heavy. Most of 2nd trimester wasn’t too bad. But 3rd tri is already kicking my butt. I am in a constant state of uncomfortableness. I’m a woman who can tolerate a lot of pain but the back and neck pain I’ve been enduring lately have been insaaaaane. Sleeping on my sides, tummy and back are all uncomfortable. So what’s left is my attempting to sleep straight up. And I can usually get some good sleep that way. BUT my freakin’ neck suffers. As I type this, I have to turn my entire body to look left or right. It’s bad.

I had my first visit with a chiropractor and it was woooonderful. I may have to keep going back to him if the neck and back pain persists. I’ve got internal swelling in my left leg which makes walking painful and totally got in the way of my 2 miles a day mission. I still manage to walk 1 mile a day but it ain’t easy.

DSC_1847-001

I’m eating well but not over-indulging. I took my gestational diabetes test yesterday and I am sooooo hoping that I passed. If I don’t pass, I’ll have to take it again and NOT eat for 3 hours. Naw bruh. Not cool at all.

This is a super quick update because yeah, I’m at the point of pregnancy where I am just a wreck. I’m trying to stay positive though. I’ve got a baby shower coming up, baby classes, maternity pictures and there is just A LOT of fun things to look forward to. But my neck, my back…ooooooh, my back. It’s a mess, y’all.

Quick Bean Stats!

Weight Gained: Believe it or not but but I am still 3 lbs DOWN from my pre-pregnancy weight. I have gained nothing. Crazy. Bean is still growing like crazy though so I’m okay with that.

Crazy Symptom: Sometimes my sciatic nerve messes up at the wrong time. I’ll get up from a meeting and literally have a shooting pain in my bum. Sexy, uh?

Cravings: None. I am so not the typical pregnant woman.

Sleep?: Negative. I suffer from insomnia, peeing every 2-3 hours and not ever getting comfortable. I’m a walking zombie.

Best Thing About Pregnancy: Feeling Bean kick. It’s weird but I fall in love with her every time she gets her wobble on. Even if hurts.

 

Tis ‘all, y’all!

Baby Clumps: 25 Weeks + Being A Stay At Home Mom. Yay or nay?

DSC_1348

Oh man. What a week. For both Baby Clumps and I. I’ve spent a great deal of this pregnancy being emotionally cool and calm but this past week I opened up a friggin’ Tears Factory. I am sooooooo emotional. And this isn’t like me. I’m a reformed crybaby who has become so thugged out that crying rarely happens with me. But this week? Whoa. I’ve been a hot crying mess.

Things That Have Made Me Cry:
-Dropping a banana in the mud.
-Missing out on the great weather because I work inside.
-Loving pomegranates but consistently and unintentionally buying rotten ones.
-Insane migraines.
-Being too cold. Or being too hot.
-Everything.

Insane, right? I’m so weepy during the day and have to excuse myself several times at work to walk it out and get my thoughts together.

Bean’s weekly stats:

“Your little grower’s physical proportions are pretty much birth-ready and most of their remaining development will largely be weight gain and a ton of nervous system development.
The good news is: if your child were to be born premature, they’d likely survive without much trauma as their lungs started producing “surfactant” last week, which means their tiny respiratory system is getting stronger with each passing day.” (source)

DSC_1343

So Bean is growing up and her little kicks are becoming stronger. And some are getting painful! I try not to complain because they are little reminders that she’s doing okay. Esposo can actually feel her kicks now and he spends time singing to her and OMG, it’s the sweetest thing ever. Esposo’s voice already brings tears to my eyes but knowing that Bean can hear him? Oh wow. I cry every time.

When it comes to nutrition and fitness, I am SO damn proud of myself. For one, I’ve kinda sorta cut out my insane consumption of bread. Which is no easy feat, y’all. I get in a lot of fruit and veggies and do healthy snacking. I’m open to idea of chicken again but only in moderation; which is like once or twice a week. I drink at least 80 ounces of water a day and I’ve been walking 1.5 miles each day which doesn’t seem like a lot but it’s something! I want to crank it up to 2 miles by next week. I get in daily stretches too.

Pain-wise, I had 2 migraines last week that left me for dead. I refuse to take any medication (not that they’d help my migraines anyway) and suffered in silence. Sleeping sucks and I have to sleep upright otherwise I wake up with the worst back pain evaaaaaa. I was coming down with a cold few days ago but got rid of that by swallowing garlic, downing raw honey, up’ing my Vitamin C and drinking echinacea tea. Works every time!

DSC_1354

You’ve probably seen me in this yellow cardigan/red belt get-up before. I’ll probably repeat it a dozen times again. I can make it work with everything! Plus I ain’t above rockin’ the same look once or twice. Nope. :cool:

Okay, so quick discussion about the whole being a stay at home mom thing. Prior to getting pregnant, I never even considered being a stay at home mom. In fact, excuse my ignorance, but it seemed…boring. How could I be in the house all day doing chores and tending to a baby? Granted sitting around an office all day isn’t all that exciting but at least I’d have adult interaction and could help provide for my family financially. At least I wouldn’t be playing into that typical role of “Mom stays home with the kids while Dad goes out to work.” At least I’d have a job with goals and would have a sense of purpose outside of raising my children. Plus, daycares are great. Bean would get plenty of infant interaction which will result in her being where she needs to be developmentally. I mean, I’m not a childcare professional. Surely the people at daycare know more about how to educate and care for my child than me. Right?! Right????

I don’t know, y’all. Bean will be here very soon and it just hit me…I don’t want to have to hand her over to someone else and head back to work after she’s only be on this Earth for 12 short weeks. I don’t want to have to pump 4-5 times a day at work when I could be breastfeeding her around the clock. I don’t want to have to worry about her and question if the daycare staff are being clean enough, attentive enough and caring enough. I never WANTED to be a stay at home mom because I thought giving up my career for a life of parenting at home would be hard. But it’s not just about ME anymore. And I’m starting to see that. And I’m feeling super regretful that I didn’t think about this earlier. Chances are I’ll never be a STAY at home mom. Work from home? Absolutely because 90% of what I do for Clumps can be done at home and can provide some financial gain. But can our family financially make it without my full time job right now? I don’t know. We planned for me to go straight back to work and now I’m not sure I can do it. *gulp*

DSC_1339

Quick Bean stats!

Weight Gain: ZERO. Still haven’t gained anything. I’m starting to realize that this is okay.

Weird Symptom: I’ll have this raging appetite and make attempts to stuff my face and then get full after just a few bites.

Fears:Life post-pregnancy. I really don’t want to go back to working a 9-5 and be stuck with leaving my baby at a daycare.

Cravings: None. Although I do want fries at least once a week. And I give myself that as long as I get my daily walks in.

Things I Miss: Ceviche and working out at the gym like a mad woman. I also miss sitting comfortably in the car and sleeping throughout the night.

 

 

Any stay at home moms in the house? Or what about you gals who plan to have kids one day…what route do you think you will take? I don’t know many stay at home moms so this is a topic that I know very little about.