Dear Postpartum Hair Loss Beast,
Hey girl hey. So we meet again, huh? You didn’t catch me off guard like you did with my first pregnancy. Nope. This time, I was awaiting your arrival and had my Black Jamaican castor oil and head wrap game on deck. I knew you were coming to take me out. Things are different this time.
I mean, yes. You are still snatching my edges (quite literally) and have me playing a game called How Far Back Can It Go? with my hairline. There’s mostly humor behind all of this. There’s some sadness, too. Yes, I’m a girl who can confidently rock hair down her back and a bald head but losing your hair never feels good. Especially when you know you have no control over it.
You are the #1 reason for why I chopped off my locs. You made me feel ashamed. You had me hating to look at myself in the mirror. You rolled through in the night, took my self-confidence and bashed it endlessly. You made me feel ugly.
This is partly why I call you a beast because PPHL, you are a ruthless character. Somehow, though, I am able to appreciate you this time around.
I know you don’t want me to. I know you want me to feel defeated and ugly and glare at myself in the mirror, rubbing my bald spots in hopes that they regrow overnight. Naw. I’m not going to do that. Instead, I’m going to find appreciation in your existence. Your existence is a reminder that…
- My body carried and is currently nourishing my son. I mean…wow.
- I can still be beautiful with bald spots. BOOM!
- My daughter needs me to feel confident so that I can help HER feel confident, too.
- I’m not the only one going through this. LOTS of women deal with postpartum hair loss.
- It’s just hair. Just like my body will never be like how it was pre-kids, my hair may never be the same either.
I don’t want to cry over you because it doesn’t help me. I can’t spend time being irritated at your presence because I’m too busy trying to dote on my youngest child and steadily remind my oldest child how much she means to Mommy. I won’t allow you to take away from my strength and how I feel about myself. Instead, you’re just a reminder of what I’ve gone through to give life to my children. No one said it would be easy.
Looking at my bald spots isn’t easy but…so what? I am choosing to be a bit more positive this time around and so instead of hating you, I’m just going to revel in your existence, be the baddest head wrapper in the game and move on with my life.
Thanks for the growth, PPHL.