Hey girl. How you doin’? I know, I know. I haven’t been around as much. You’re probably sick of hearing me use my kids as an excuse for why I’m not around as much as I used to be. Maybe I hinted to these impending days when I was pregnant. Maybe I never told you at all. Maybe I turned down every invite to get together or stopped responding to your texts altogether.
This isn’t okay. I know it’s not.
You need me just as much as I need you. But here’s the thing…I may not be the friend you need me to be right now. We both know how demanding kids are. You don’t have to be a parent to know this. It’s pretty obvious, right?
There was no way either one of us could have planned for this. Our friendship went from spontaneous Girls Night Outs, lavish weekends away, random calls and texting throughout the day to my entire focus being a mom and focusing on keeping these kids alive.
You say: Hey girl! What’s up?
I say: I’m SO tired. This baby had me up alllll night.
You say: Hey! Free for lunch this Saturday?
I say: Can’t. Baby will be napping, kid has a tournament and I’ve got to help teen with his Science Fair Project.
You say: Hey! We should plan a trip this summer.
I say: Can’t. My life savings have gone to daycare, medical expenses OR I don’t trust anyone else with my kids.
You say: How’s it going?
I say: *crickets*
I see you reaching out. I know you want to be there. I feel terrible that I can’t pour into you the way you may want me to. This is not intentional. Maybe I could do better. Putting “Text Friend” on my calendar is super simple. Investing in the people who have supported me all of these years requires time. I can do better. I will do better.
I know you want to support me and I know I don’t always tell you how. Maybe this will help?
Until then, please forgive me if you’ve every felt like I didn’t put in work for our friendship.
I’m sorry. I’m doing the best I can to navigate Mom life and juggling that while dappling into self-care, work, fitness and friendships, well…it’s not easy. Somewhere I may drop the ball.
I hope you understand.