This past weekend I drove a good 3 hours West and went to the beach. The reason? There was no reason. I just wanted to get away. I had to get away. A good gal pal of mine rented a beautiful Airbnb and we did whatever we wanted to.
Us. Wives. Mothers. Entrepreneurs. Hard working women with demands, deadlines and duties. We let it all go and just…we lived. And girl, let me tell you – not wiping a butt or washing a dish on a weekend is a grand feeling. I splashed around in a pool without having to worry about any of my children drowning themselves. I ate without sharing. I slept through the night. I laughed, I prayed, I brainstormed and I left feeling so incredibly renewed.
And not to sound greedy but it wasn’t enough time. I’m not even going to lie to you. I was only at that darling little pool house for 28 hours and it wasn’t enough time. But I was grateful I got the chance to get away and it. My selfishness and desire for self-care doesn’t stop there either.
Other ways I care for myeslf? I’m so glad you asked!
I turn my phone off.
Phones are such distractions. I mean, yes…they keep us in touch but more times than not, they distract us from life. Turn that phone off. Put it on the charger and ignore it.
I have regular staycations.
This getaway is one of three that I’ve had so far this year. I do them regularly. They differ from business meetings in that there are no plans. I pack enough clothes to fit into a small duffle bag and I go. Sometimes I don’t leave the hotel room. Sometimes all I do is sleep. Other times I write, read or binge watch a show on Netflix while eating snacks. Having those minutes and hours of being able to do what I want to do is a requirement for me to be happy person, mama, wife and friend.
I say no.
This one is new as I wasn’t always one to say NO. I’d feel bad. I didn’t want to let anyone down. Not anymore. I don’t want to sacrifice my happiness just to put other people in a more comfortable position. No doesn’t hurt. No actually works for me and I’m thrilled about it.
I put myself first.
I have to. I can’t pour into anyone else if I’m empty. It took me the longest to learn. This isn’t just a struggle with mothers. Many people and many women think they have to make others happy, even if it robs them of their happiness. I say no. I say…me first. And then, if I can, I will do my best to consider you.
I don’t think for others.
Do you ever know people who want you to think for them? They don’t say this but you can tell by how often they ask you questions. Thinking for myself is challenging enough but thinking for capable adults? Nope. Brainstorming and strategizing is one thing but stressing out over the decisions that others have to make? It’s just exhausting and I don’t wanna.
Oh, guess what else I did, friends? I made an appointment with a therapist! It’s crazy how excited I am about this but I’ve been wanting to make my mental health a priority for years. I’m nervous but also looking forward to seeing how I can learn how to be a better me.