Friendships are funny in your thirties. It’s not like when you’re in high school and you see each other every other period and during lunch and after school. It’s not like when you’re in your twenties and you live in the same dorm or have sleepovers at each others’ apartments or take road trip after road trip because you can.
Friendships after college and during career development, marriage and baby having gets…complicated.
You HAVE to be intentional about friendships.
You pretty much need to date your friends.
I’m serious! It sounds funny but thinking that your friends will still be there for you even though you’ve left them in the dust because of your new partner, new kid, new job or new lifestyle changes is crazy. No. You can’t do that.
Lately I’ve been dating my friends by sending out beautiful cards and love letters. They never expect them. They just get a card in the mail and boom…!
Don’t be such a sucky friend.
I had to tell myself this. I truly did. Last year I was not a good friend. Okay, granted 2016 was sucky in sooooo many ways but so.what. I was never too busy to not text a friend. Or send a letter. A card. SOMETHING! It’s really not that difficult. But shoot…
What did Maya Angelou say? When you know better, you do better. I know better and I’m doing better. I’m vowing to be a better friend. I’m going all in. The best part? This doesn’t feel forced. I get excited at the thought of being a better friend.
- Paying a babysitter to watch my kids so I can meet a gal pal for a drink.
- Fighting the temptation to work and hop on a phone call for an hour.
- Postponing my to do list to chat with a friend on Facebook.
- Spending 10 minutes a week writing cards to mail to friends.
- Sending quick texts and messages that say “Hey, love you. Thinking of you.”
- Making plans and STICKING to them.
Last week I hung out with a friend that lives in Orlando and yet I hadn’t seen in over a year. Seriously???? Why? Why did it took so long for us to get together? We felt bad about it but vowed to do better and before we left each other, we went through our calendars and put together another date for when we’d meet.
It really is that simple.
It’s also the reason why I only have a handful of friends. My core group of about 6 ladies get my first class treatment but that doesn’t mean I can’t pour into other people. I’ll occasionally spend a few minutes a day going down my Messages list in my phone, Facebook Messenger and Google Chat just to say “Hey” to people.
That’s it, y’all.
I may not even respond immediately after they respond to my “Hey.” More times than not I text and go. But I at least value these people enough to give them some time. To let them know I care. To remind them that they’re loved. To pray for them. Encourage them. Be happy for them. Laugh with them.
And just be a freaking friend.
I can still do better but girl listen…I’m just happy that I’m being a much better friend than I was last week. And last year. That’s all I can do. Each day I wake up with the urgency to be a better person in some department. Even if I have to write “Call friend” in my planner, at least I’m making my friend a priority.
I don’t want to wake up at 50 and realize that I’ve lost my friends because I didn’t take the time to really cultivate our relationships. I don’t want my partner to be my only friend. I NEED friendships with women. They’ve been so instrumental in my development as a little girl, teenager, young woman and mother that I refuse to not have healthy and active friendships with women.
If you feel the same way do better.
Seriously. Stop making excuses and start being a decent friend.
These beautiful cards were given to me by a friend. She makes them and after she found out about my goal of wanting to send at least 100 letters/cards to people I know and to strangers, she gifted me with the these beauties. Please check out her site and support it!