Guess who turned 2 today? Well, technically not until 5:29 pm EST (or somethin’ like that) but today 2 years ago, I gave birth to my first and only child. I mean, WOW…I still look back at those pictures that were snapped immediately after she was born into her Daddy’s arms and I am amazed that my body did it all. And relatively easily.
I am truly one of those natural birthing free-spirited hippies who gets all emotional over things like that but seriously, it’s amazing stuff.
And EB…my loving, active, talkative, kind, sensitive, shoe loving, creative, hilarious child, never stops ceasing to amaze me. Motherhood has driven me crazy, y’all. I mean straight up BONKERS. But this little girl could not have been more perfect for our family. She has wiped my tears away and has said “Don’t cry, mama.” She has hugged me when I’ve needed it. She’s inspired me and motivated me and she’s given me lessons and has taught me patience. She’s the one celebrating a birthday but I feel like I’ve done a lot of growing up, too.
I’m not sad that she’s older. For what? Sad that she’s happy and healthy and loving life? Nope. I am grateful for her existence and being able to help guide her along this life path. I am not sad because I’ve got pictures and memories and I can always relive those. I won’t live in fear that I can’t protect her from the big and mean world. Because I will always be there for her – cuddling her, holding her hand and instilling strength and confidence within her. Now THAT makes me cry because I don’t want to let her down and I want to make her proud. I’m not doing it alone, though. I’ve got a strong village of fellow women and mothers who are helping me navigate. That’s the thing. Motherhood isn’t just about a mother raising children. Motherhood also encompasses women supporting mothers. It’s such a needed part of this journey and I couldn’t be more blessed to have such amazing women in my life.
I no longer feel guilty about being a working mom. I feel proud that despite her going to school, she still knows who mommy and daddy are. She still asks for us. I taught her the words to Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. I taught her sign language and I taught her her ABCs and how to count to 10. I’ve learned how to let go of that guilt and to be a proactive parent no matter what our lifestyles are like.
Today she turns 2 and I turn into an even more confident woman and mama. Truthfully, I’ve had such a difficult time finding the desire to add another child to our family because I really love focusing my attention on raising this girl. Not to mention, toddlers are big noisy balls of birth control.
I’m not even kidding.
Happy birthday to my precious girl.