Some of y’all are going to be like…“Natural hair? Don’t all little girls have natural hair?”
I mean, yeah. They do. In THIS case, I’m referring to little girls of color with thick and kinky hair that has not been relaxed.
Black girl hair.
It’s a lifestyle. I’ve got both fond memories of it and horrific nightmares. I know that sounds a bit dramatic but enduring a burning scalp from hot combs and relaxers have left their mark, man. As much of a Pinterest mama I ain’t, the one thing I don’t mess around with is keeping up my baby’s hair health.
I take it seriously.
Yeah girl. Even at 4, she’s got wash days, has been wearing a bonnet to bed since she was 1 and gets regular scalp massages like she’s royalty. Healthy hair starts now and preschooler or not, I refuse to have my babeh rocking around with a hot mess on her head. I want her to proud of her beautiful hair and it’s my job to keep it healthy and teach her how to keep it healthy.
And it starts NOW! It took us awhile to get into a groove but we’re here and here are some of the products and tricks that have helped us get there.
Bee Mine Organics Botanical Moisturizing Shampoo (here, $12.97)
I’ve been purchasing and using Been Mine Organics products on EB’s hair for a good 2 years now. Her hair LOVES this shampoo and I love how incredibly moisturizing it is. When I think her hair could use a little clarifying, I dump a bit of apple cider vinegar in it and she’s left with clean hair and a shiny scalp without super dry hair.
Bee Mine Organics Avocado Cream Conditioner (here, $20)
It took forever trying to find a conditioner that worked for EB’s hair texture. With low density and low porosity strands, she needed something that thoroughly conditioned her hair without weighing it down. This creamy conditioner is SO good and also works fabulously as a leave in.
Camille Rose Naturals Curl Love Moisture Milk (here, $15.82)
My hair hardly needs the extra moisturizing the way EB’s does and we’ve been using Moisture Milk for years. When her hair isn’t in cornrows or a protective style, after spritzing it with water, I slather some of this on here and my goodness, her hair LOVES it.
Curls Blueberry Bliss Control Paste (here, $11.99)
Curls sent us this Paste a few months back and we can’t get enough of it. It smells SO good and gives Elle such a slick bun. A little of this goes a long way but at the end of the day her hair isn’t crunchy and feeling overloaded. We’ll be buying this non-stop.
Shea Moisture Argan Oil( here, $8.99)
I’ll vote for coconut oil for President any day of the week but coconut oil has never played nicely to my hair or EB’s hair. But argan oil? LOVE! Perfect for her low density and high porosity domes, argan oil leaves its mark without making our hair over-greasy and feeling heavy. I also love using argan oil on my cuticles.
Do hair in stages.
Think your toddler or 4-year old can sit for hours on end while you crank out a style? No, mama. Make it easier on all of you and break it up. We usually wash, condition and detangle in one day and do a protective style the next day.
Learn how to cornrow
Listen. I don’t care if you can’t do it because your mother never taught you. I don’t care if you don’t even cornrow your own hair. If you have a little Black girl, do yourself a favor and learn how to cornrow. I didn’t know how to do anything more than French braids but after attending YouTube University and purchasing a mannequin to practice on, I’m pretty good at cornrowing. More than anything, I love that it has given me the confidence to be in control of my daughter’s hair. I mean, look, y’all! I went from not being able to do this AT ALL to cranking out 16 cornrows in a row. I am sooooo proud of myself.
Always work on wet hair
This is one thing I don’t remember my mom doing when I was growing up. It would have made a huge difference. I keep a spray bottle of water and Darshana hair oil in our hair box and EB’s hair gets spritzed DAILY before I finger comb or comb her hair. Doesn’t matter if I’m just sweeping it back into a bun for gymnastics. Her hair is 100x less tangled and it hurts much less for her when I use water.
Understand hair porosity and hair type
There’s a science to natural hair and understanding WHAT kind of hair my baby has truly made things easier for us. And uh, brace yourself because it’s confusing. Some of it makes no sense. Many sites and sources have opposite findings and so your best bet is to research your behind off. Doing this will help you understand what kind of products to use. And finding the best products for your kid’s hair is such a freaking game changer.
Watch how you talk about hair, in general.
Our little girls are sponges and they’re soaking up everything we say. ESPECIALLY when it comes to our appearances. Because of the complicated relationship I have with my hair, I have to work hard to watch what I say about my hair and EB’s hair. I never want her to think her hair is challenging, difficult or ugly. She needs to know that yeah…it requires a lot of work but her crown is sheer beauty. Because it is!
Help a mama out. Do any of y’all have little girls with very thick hair? Would love to know what you’ve been using and loving.
FTC Disclosure: I received a press sample of the Curls Paste but all thoughts and opinions are my own.
Brittany!!! THANK YOU for this post! It was reassuring!! I am horrible with hair, can’t braid have no clue about porosity, etc. But this will def help me get off my butt and get to it! My daughter will be 2 next month and i’m growing exhausted having to ask grandma to braid her hair. Thank you again
You’ll learn, girl. You sound like how I was. I knew NOTHING and it took years to learn how to cornrow and learn the science behind all of this hair stuff. You’ve got nothing but time so be patient with yourself.
I love mielle organics for my 2 year olds hair. The mint almond oil is light and smells fantastic. The avacado milk and the leave in conditioner make it so much easier to manage her hair. She is extremely tender headed so i have to be gentle and i too learned how to cornrow on YouTube. I have a 2 year old and a 2 month old so there will be alot of hair to be done in this house so I’m glad i found products that her hair loves and is making her hair grow beautifully.
I got Mielle Organics sample once and ended up purchasing the full size. It smells SO good. I need to try that leave-in. It sounds wonderful. Don’t you love knowing that you can take care of your girls’ hair? Such a good feeling! We don’t have to be dependent on the hair salon. Yesssss.
This was such an enlightening post — thank you for sharing! I love the argan oil tip for those sensitive to coconut oil!
As a white woman, a lot of these tips/tricks are lost on me. lol. However, I did still read through everything! I find it fascinating and enlightening! I believe it’s always a good idea to learn about the different struggles and triumphs of all women. The love you have for your daughter and the drive to teach her how to care for her hair and to appreciate it’s natural beauty is truly inspiring. I hope to instill the same values in my own daughter one day. <3
I absolutely agree with you, Aleesha! Thank you so much for making it to the end.
So you mean to tell me sitting still for a hair-do isn’t coming any time soon?! My daughter is 16 months and we have the same process of washing one day (or in the morning) and cornrowing the next (or that night).
I am still looking for the right products though. The Shea Moisture Shea Butter poo & condish work pretty good but kinda hard to rinse out. Especially when hair washing ain’t her thing. I like the Curly Kids deep condish & dentangle spray too. The search for hair product peace continues.
It took us awhile to find products that worked for EB’s hair type. And it may change by the season. I need to check out Curly Kids. Luckily we’ve got more options these days. That so wasn’t the case 5-10 years ago.