I don’t want to be stuck in my life doing the same things year after year.
I mean, I can see how this is appealing. Normalcy is comfortable. It’s recognizable. It’s a dear friend that not only brings you food when you forgot to whip up dinner but Normalcy will tell you the best jokes and compliment you to no end.
Leaving Normalcy is difficult but despite my bout with anxiety and those horrid panic attacks, I was determined to push myself to LIVE and enjoy new things.
Especially things that took me away from the computer, my phone, social media and people’s opinions. All which have been so incredibly noisy for me lately.
So I became a gardener! Gardening for beginners, anyone?
Look, I didn’t expect this. I didn’t plan for it. It wasn’t a goal or a resolution. I didn’t join any challenges. A mental seed was planted and before I knew it, I started spending more time outside to grow things and…enjoying it!
I get why people do it. Never mind the money you save by growing your own fruits, vegetables and herbs and never mind how much better tasting homegrown produce is but yo…it’s FUN!
I go out to look at my flowers and plants and I’m just…happy. I’m happy to see the ladybugs keep my aphids infestation down. I’m happy that blight is no longer a problem on my tomato plant. I’m happy that my petunias are growing and to see my dill shoot up to the sky.
I’m happy that even though my basil looks half dead, it is still holding on.
I’m happy that gardening has given EB and I the opportunity to chat about the environment, nutrition and well, anything!
I’m happy that my local nursery owner now knows me by name and gets as excited as I do when I tell I DIDN’T kill something.
I’m happy to let go and let nature do its thing without controlling every little detail. I’m at peace when I garden.
And now I’m that garden nerd who wants the entire front and backyard to look good. I’m buying cedar mulch and removing invasive plants and researching what plants will bring the bees, butterflies and ladybugs to my garden. My Mom came and visited and we spent HOURS doing yard work…and we enjoyed it!
My babies are helping me harvest and get excited when they enjoy a meal with veggies and herbs that we grew.
EB is getting so smart and can name all of the plants and flowers that we’re growing. We even saw butterflies mating on our lavender and learned together what happens next. She can spot ladybug larvae better than me.
The amount of imperfection in my garden is pretty remarkable.
And yet things keep growing. How dope is that?
I hope I can stick to this. I’ve had so many hobbies in my 33 years and many slowly just…fade away. But even if I’m not gardening a year from now, I am so grateful for what these past few months have given me.
By the way, EB took most of these pictures. I’m so proud of her. My girlie not only graduated from preschool this month but she also joined pre-team at gymnastics and had started making her lunch. What a big girl!
Find a new hobby, friends. The wilder, the better. If you would have told me that this woman who hates cooking, never enjoyed being outdoors and prefers instant gratification (which gardening is NOT!) would enjoy gardening, I would have laughed at you.
Life is a trip.